I first saw ROH in probably late 2004 on UK's short lived The Wrestling Channel on Sky TV. It was a Low Ki match, I wish I knew which one, and my stepdad at the time said "this is loads better than the fake WWE shit you watch". CZW would've been something I saw not long after in the same place. Both were big eye openers as to what else was out there in the world of grapply. Inferior audio quality, cussing, indie back kicks and such distinct identities. It's these distinct identities which make the material I have seen from this interpromotional feud so amazing.
The Cage of Death match from Death Before Dishonor is pretty much a top 3 match ever for me, and it could possibly be the #1. The undercards of the ROH shows I've seen from this period are such great fun too, with the CZW fans in attendance coming off like party crashers or away fans in a footy match. Incredibly unique dynamic that we'll never see the like of again, so I think this is more than worthy of finally prioritising and being comprehensive about.
As alluded to, Death Before Dishonor is a show I've seen before. I've also seen ROH's The 100th Show from April '06 that ends with an also perfect interpromotional 6-man tag match - that might be all I've seen of the best wrestling war, though. Certainly, CZW's efforts in this feud are a bit of a mystery to me.
I've seen more ROH than CZW post-2002, probably due to how different the general level of acclaim is between the two promotions - everything on the internet points to ROH being consistently more must see, but I regularly reject the cagematchian consensus and so am equally interested in CZW's much less spoken about offerings in this feud. The 2001-2003 CZW that I've seen connects with me more than any ROH (which I do generally love!) and more than pretty much any promotion ever. It's the perfect balance of not trying to be fine art (I don't know that Meltzer has ever awarded a star rating to a CZW match so it's refreshingly far away from that whole spreadsheet scene), being intentionally & unintentionally funny as fuck and giving us so many enthralling and unbelievable moments in the ring.
When the Mondos, Gages and Necros aren't there murking themselves, the hilarious zero-to-a-hundred energy of Eric Gargiulo & John 'Hitman' House will power me through the Rick Feinbergs, GQs and Rockin' Rebels. I guess shit is different these days as I live semi-comfortably and happily, but at my core I am a scuzzy lower-class druggy fuck spitting bitterly at all that is perceived to be above me, and that is a large reason why Zandigist CZW resonates with me so much. It feels like it has that exact same chip on its shoulder. All these mad nutters who remind me of oddballs I met in pubs and such when I was like 20. Crusty punks and metalheads, "chavs" (hate the word but don't have a better one to hand), skaters who partied too hard and died young, guys who want to show you that they carried a knife out tonight and heroin addicts who carry a plastic bag of shoplifted goods to sell on to you. I frequently feel like I see these personalities represented in the wider US hardcore/deathmatch scene and it adds a layer that other wrestling subgenres just can't cater to.
So, yeah, I love this company and there's a chance I'll connect with their 2006 even more than ROH. I know John House isn't here anymore, but most of the elements I loved in the early 2000s still are present. I can never write them off. Perhaps at the end of the project I'll attempt some sort of head-to-head comparison thing, despite the fact that ROH has a larger quantity of shows in this period. I guess I'll rate the shows after watching, solely so I can show the averages - that works.
I will start from CZW Cage Of Death 2005 and go all the way up to ROH War Of The Wire II. Yep, that's the end of it apparently. If you don't agree then blame prowrestling.fandom.com who I am trusting unreservedly.
That Blowjob Whitmer match could not possibly have taken place before the biggest blow-off match in the history of blow-off matches, I am sure!
Let's get on with it, then. First show:
The visual theme of the show is the seven deadly sins rushing across the screen. They've got their thesaurus out and used the word "avarice" instead of greed. The word "seven" appears in mirror text. That's all quite cool and twisted, but I think this takes it a little far:
And this:
I love it when CZW owner gibnes makes epic returns.
I'll pick and choose which of these pre-show promos to go over; Claudio is very endearing to listen to when his grasp of English is incomplete "by the end of the night, I will have the gold around my waist. In fact, let's put it dat way... MORE gold around my waist". He also does that thing that Bryan Danielson did early into his WWE career where all his promos are done in a constant state of 20% corpsing because promos are pretty funny.
Zandig, I don't know whether he's blown his voice out or something, but he sounds very different to the early 2000s Zandig I know much better. His psycho energy in this one is replaced with a gruffness and a promise that Joker's neck will be in a noose in the cage of death match. So still pretty psycho, but very different vibes.
Excalibur & Beef Wellington. That's Team Masturbation. They be chuckling at stuff such as the concept of auto-erotic asphyxiation. There's a cut because apparently a guy falls down some stairs and this destroys Beef Wellington's composure.
There he is. There's my mate. Deej is really angry. Spit is flying out of his mouth at points. People haven't been giving him respect in this FUCKING company. Pulling fucking ribs on him. Telling him to be less fucking stiff in the ring. And that's why he fucking turned on Jon Dahmer. He works his fucking ass off for this fucking company while lazy fucks like Dahmer are too fucking lazy. Incredible proto-MASADA moment where he says "and yeah I'm saying fuck too much, to all the people at home". Fun promo. He definitely goes on a bit, but shows genuinely good passion. He's black 'n' yellow through and through. It makes sense that this guy will later buy the promotion!
Joker's promo lasts a fraction as long, but may outdo Deej's fuck counter. "I come off the fuckin plane and get fuckin welcomed with fuckin open arms by everyone but fuckin you". He also says he's gonna rape Zandig? So we have that to look forward to.
One sick MV that lasts the entire length of 'Stricken' by Disturbed later, and it's 51 minutes before the first match graphic pops up. AND I'M FUCKING FINE WITH THAT! Some of these promos/skits are better than others, but aw man... why does nobody do this shit on the indies anymore? Bring back the porno acting. It's easy to mock, but I'm sure the contingent who went on to TV promotions benefitted from the experience. ROH, for example, had countless great matches but so much charm is added with the likes of those "Samoa Joe's ring" segments, and everybody beating the fuck out of Dunn & Marcos until they proclaim that they're not gonna take it anymore. I wouldn't care so much about the former if they didn't reel me in more with the latter. The PWG style that has now defined the scene of just going match match match leaves me utterly cold in comparison.
So these two bozos, aka Up In Smoke, barged into Maven Bentley's office and wanted to showcase their tag skills at Cage Of Death. But the Tough Crazy Bastards are in the main event?? ZOINKS!! That's not for them. H8 Club also too scary, so they settled for a match against each other. I might have seen them in AIW or something before, but not enough/too long ago to know what to expect here.
Eric Gargiulo flying solo here; his usual broadcast partner at this time, Eddie Kingston, has gone AWOL! Eric is really angry that Cloudy's entrance theme is 'Hollaback Girl'. WHAT KIND OF A HETEROSEXUAL MALE COMES OUT TO 'HOLLABACK GIRL' AT THE CAGE OF DEATH?! I still expect "JAHN" to come at the end of all his statements and questions. It's not quite the same without someone else there to grind his gears, I must admit.
Cheech & Cloudy run through a bunch of backyard lucha at a fast pace. It's pretty fun and the crowd respond to it well. Gwen Stefani enthusiast Cloudy is definitely the one with the most shit to get in as he showcases a tope armdrag and an apron Canadian destroyer, but he succumbs to a second rope powerbomb after going for a Frankensteiner. Good match! An ideal opener, honestly. They may have been introduced as utter goofs, but my suspicions that they were gonna be presented as a couple of Rick Feinbergs were definitely off the mark. I bet they would even have a good match against the Tough Crazy Bastards, or perhaps H8 Club.
You know all that gushing about how much I vibe with 2000s CZW? Pretty much the opposite is true with CHIKARA. I'm sure one day I'd like to take a better look at some defining moments from the likes of Kingston, Claudio & Brodie Lee, and maybe it's fun when they get 50 year old World Of Sport guys in, but wow I fucking hate Mike Quackenbush's outlook on wrestling, face, voice, lame lectures that is only just a notch above Max Landis' "Wrestling Isn't Wrestling" and a lot of his in-ring material too. That's something I felt long before I knew about anything cancellable he'd done, just so we're clear.
Shane Storm has the most normal name here, but looks like a crazy clown in jorts for some reason. He does a pretty nice rolling tope - not Homicide tier but what is? Akuma is bald. Icarus looks like you fused Jack Perry & Blake Christian in the machine from The Fly. That's quite unpleasant.
Early on, there's some unique but very rehearsed sequency stuff going on, where evidently the smartest man ever Mike Quackenbush makes a fool of an attempted double team and makes them do offense on each other. Gran Akuma does a cravat and it makes Gargiulo livid.
Fine. They definitely have a showcase match with sequences, flying and head drops done at blistering pace. I feel that they had the crowd up for spurts, but lost them at points due to the inorganic nature of it. It definitely felt like a match that was 100% planned out beat-by-beat, but not as cool as the average DDP match that does the same. I was braced for much worse, though. Jigsaw did pretty alright as far as individual performances go. Storm seemed solid too. I don't think I like Team FIST. Hallowicked, insufficient evidence - the jury's out on him. Quack mostly stuck to what he's good at - in another 2005 CZW match I saw of his he was hitting these papier-mâché forearms that really pissed me off, but there was none of that here.
I was wondering if this was the infamous "PLEASE END THIS!!" match, but it's definitely over too quick to be that offensive to anybody.
The Ving himself Chris Hero tries to talk but is repeatedly interrupted by a chorus of airhorns. Eventually, he's able to say that the tag titles will not be defended tonight because Eddie Kingston is in rehab. Claudio mimes glugging a drink. Gargiulo solemnly says that's unnecessary. Then Eddie just fucking emerges from the crowd in a hoodie. Big Eddie chants. Great moment.
Eddie chases them out of the ring, but Hero keeps hold of his microphone and further goads Eddie for his issues. At this point, it feels a bit silly for him to not continue chasing them outside the invisible barrier of the ring, but whatever. Eddie promises to kick their fuckin heads in and goes over some of his personal issues. One dude calls him Da F Slur but he brushes it off well and retains the respect of the vast majority there.
DJ Hyde vs. Jon Dahmer
What a moment that is. The fan jokingly oversells it, but I bet that hurt. I reckon that was a deliberate rib on a regular. Good old 2000s wrestling. Also, it's so fucking funny that Eric chooses to emphasise "WHADDABIGKICK!!"Teacher vs. student who then became a teacher. This starts with a pretty urgent brawling pace as Dahmer sprints into the ring to pound on DJ, but then it all slows down. Lots of moments of Deej looking into the crowd as they give him an X-Pac-esque strain of heat. That's clear because his heat is not exactly matched by support and cheers for Dahmer. The message boards have made their mind up and are not moved. Gargiulo is a bit tongue-in-cheek when Deej is on offense saying "How could ya boo that?! They're not saying boo, they're saying ooo!"
I for one quite like DJ's power stuff, so there. Deej wins comfortably with "THE MOVE OF A THOUSAND MANIACS!!" (head drop version of The Dominator?) and pins him with one foot like he's Great Khali. Oh, inscrutable CZW finisher names, how I've missed you. The match was alright. I was hoping for something a tad more substantial and brutal after Deej's massive pre-show promo. I just checked: DJ's promo lasted 15 minutes and 58 seconds (!), while the match only lasted for 6 minutes and 44 seconds. What a fucking statistic. My close personal friend DJ Hyde loves to talk.
wrestling trainees take note: this is how you cut a fuckin promo pic.twitter.com/78owg33WzV
— 🖕😡🖕 (@c4nnsaw) December 7, 2023
I think I've only seen Franky The Mobster once, but I decided that he's great just from this promo.
Immediate dissension as Larry steals da stick from Franky who makes a crazy face. All four guys are just having a conversation in there, and with the 2000s audio quality it's tough to make out all of it - there's a reason they pre-tape most of the promo segments. I gather, though, that Excalibur was spending time with a hooker and she put her hand down his pants but he was like nuh uh cos he do the masturbatey like in the team name. I might not have ever seen Excalibur in a non-commentary role and it's odd to experience. Either Franky, Larry or both of them are accused of also being masturbators and this slanderous statement is what convinces them to jump the wankers and begin the match.
Oh my fucking god, dude. THIS is the "END THIS PLEASE!! PLEASE END THIS!!" match! I fucking jolted forward when I realised this. I was braced for it earlier, but it caught me off guard here. Of course, now I remember that Excalibur was in those clips. I always assumed it would be during a really long match, but it's about 90 seconds into this one. My god, it's just the best asshole fan heckle ever though. Iconic. I mean, hey, at least he did say please. The wrestlers don't know how to respond and just blank it out, a portion of other fans start a "shut the fuck up" chant. While the fans may have told that guy to shut up, nobody is really boosting this shtick heavy match with much vocal support. According to cagematch, Team Masturbation lasted for five matches in CZW, and going by this match I think they probably spunked out their repertoire of gags in the first two or three.
There're these platforms hanging above the ring in preparation for the cage of death match, and Beef Wellington climbs up to one of them to apparently do a huge dive. I'm thinking "Really? In this match?" but then he gets vertigo and lies on his belly. Excalibur tries to help him down but gets caught in an awkward powerbomb on his neck by Larry to END THIS!! Much to the relief of that guy. And kinda me too - it definitely didn't have me shrieking at the top of my lungs in anguish, but the comedy was mostly quite one-note with Franky being the funniest in there, and there wasn't really much to it outside of that. Team Masturbation would only pound it one more time in CZW, 10 months later for some reason.
Joey Ryan - not who I want to see when it feels like a show is progressively getting worse by the match. Mind you, I haven't exactly seen much of him before he dined out on being Funny Penis Man to the audiences of clapping seals, so maybe this'll be fine (edit from da future: lolololz roflmao!!). Maybe I'm coping. Here he is and I guess the gimmick he would be defined for is taking shape here, earlier than I expected. He's dressed all in Vice City get-up and that.
Generico - one of the few indie workers of this era who worked under a different name in WWE where I default to their WWE name if I'm just thinking about them generally. I've seen Generico have good stuff obviously, but the gimmick isn't for me and it hasn't aged well. I don't know who needs to hear this but no, he definitely shouldn't bring it back on WWE TV!
Nobody really gives a shit for long periods of this match. Nobody is heckling, but there isn't much audible investment either. If it wasn't for Generico's catchy Bouncing Souls inspired chant (although I'm more partial to 'Bullying The Jukebox', personally), we'd be talking semi-main for the SmackDown Women's Championship at a late 2010s WrestleMania levels of investment. This feels justified. I don't give a shit about PWG, I want Combat Zone Wrestling. Where's Z-Barr or some other blast from the past? Is Wifebeater willing to throw crisps on someone's head like a 2010s Stone Cold cameo? It should be a year-end celebration of all things black and yellow, so showcasing promotions that would go on to overtake their popularity feels like a misstep. Be self-indulgent! This is your moment!
Ryan has absolutely no engaging stuff whatsoever. He slaps on this chinlock midway through an extended period of working on top and offering absolutely nothing, and I can see multiple fans walking away, surely thinking along of lines of "jesus, I gave it a fucking chance but I guess I'll go get a fucking beer then". Generico is probably not blameless, but when he shuffles through some trademark spots, the match has at least the potential to become mediocre.
Eric Gargiulo starts getting excited about upcoming matches; "Nate Webb and Sexxxy Eddy standing by... looking for revenge... you know that they are saying to themselves right now 'Please, just end this match-up. We wanna get out there and fight'". Yeah man, I bet Nate Webb is pumped. He might moonsault off something. I really, really look forward to that. And I like him even more when I think about him also wanting this match to end. Thank you for inspiring that thought in me, Eric Gargiulo.
After what feels like an eternity of nondescript muttering, one guy finally goes "BORRRRING!!". Another guy immediately barks back "shut the fuck up, asshole!!". No, YOU fuck up mate. YOU fuck up. Fucking twat mate. This is cage of fucking death and I'm bored out of my skull. They need to be told. This is a promotion that tells people when their time is being wasted, even if they're just being harsh which is not the case here. That is CZW heritage. So YOU fuck up. Cunt.
Every kick out feels like a slap in the face, to a degree I've never felt before. Joey Ryan hits a shitty neckbreaker off the second rope, Eric feigns excitement well in trademark fashion; "THE MOUSTACHE RIDE!!... ... ... ..THE MOUSTACHE RIDE!!", I take relief at this clear cue that it is over. Kick out!! I shout FUCK OFF!! in my room. Joey Ryan goes outside the ring and grabs his belt, I fantasize about him just walking away from the match, but no, he brings the belt in the ring and Bryce is like no no no, 'cos imagine a weapon shot happening at Cage Of Death - unthinkable. Then Joey grabs a chair. Bryce says no no no. Joey grabs belt again while Bryce is dealing with chair. Smack. One, two, KICKOUT!! FUCK OFF!!!! I'm shouting again at 11AM on a Saturday. Joey Ryan grabs the belt again and Bryce goes no no no. Generico is caught in a distraction schoolboy roll-up with rope hold. Wow, that's unfathomably fucking shit but I am just so relieved it is over. Now get your fucking rat arses out of this ring so that the CZW show can begin again. Gargiulo says "we would like to thank Joey Ryan for his participation in Cage Of Death" in a very future endeavours-y way - the next time Joey would work CZW is in 2014, presumably when his lollipop penis man bullshit is in full swing. What a fucking worthless professional wrestler and what a fucking appalling use of time. I'm very resistant to recency bias but I've no doubt that that is one of the absolute worst matches I have ever seen in my life.
The show really needs saving, I've been so disappointed so far. It's three guys I really like, and Sexxxy Eddy who I don't know as well but seems fine, so surely this has gotta pick it up.
So Adam Flash comes out with a scantily clad gothic looking lady named Pandora. Or as Eric puts it; "LOOKATTHATWHORE!!!". Hey, I'm just glad it feels like CZW again after that last match. I'll take it. Ha ha, fuckin' whore LOL. "I THINK I JUST GOT CRABS FROM LOOKIN AT HER!!", I allow myself to laugh like it IS 2005. It's freeing. I feel at peace once more.
But who's Adam Flash's partner? 'Real Muthaphuckkin Gs' by Eazy-E plays. Uh oh, that's "B-Boy" coming out with skeleton mask on! But Maven Bentley banned B-Boy as we all know! And I uh, I already wrote the match out on here so I know that it's not B-Boy. Maven Bentley comes out like nuh uh you banned!! "B-Boy" decks Maven Bentley and holy shit; "B-Boy" is actually Sonjay Dutt! Just as it says on my format sheet! The crowd reacts with genuine surprise and lots of airhorns, though. The last time Sonjay worked CZW was in April of that year. Of course, he's been on television with AJ Styles & Samoa Joe, so yeah that is a pretty decent get!
Sonjay has to now cut a heel promo though, saying he felt betrayed and abandoned by fucking piece of shit CZW. He went to Japan (four random tags in ZERO1 usually featuring Kasai, Low Ki or Spanky that I'll probably never see but sound fun), and the only one who had his back when he returned was Adam Flash. He kinda gets some heat but a lot of people are still clapping too.
Gargiulo makes comments like "LOOKS LIKE SONJAY DUTT HAS BECOME A TOTAL NONSTOP ASSHOLE!" as the babyfaces run out to initially get pwned. It starts off brawly, Webb does a tope con hilo etc. When it settles down into normal tag format, the illegal men are standing on the OTHER side of the ring. You know what I mean. They're bottom left and top right to the hard cam. Not top left and bottom right. Why this happens is a mystery, I'm pretty sure the CHIKARA tag was normal.
Eric hasn't been able to get over this Sonjay heel turn for MINUTES! He mocks how big time Sonjay thinks he is; "EXCUSE ME!! ON SPIKE TV AT MIDNIGHT WHEN NOBODY'S WATCHIN!!".
I think it can't be understated how much energy has been sapped out of the building from the last match, and to a lesser extent; the match before that. This is good, though. You get the sense that the four could come up with a crazier match, but I don't really have complaints. Webb is really great, Dutt is the main character of the match and doing well, Penelope gets involved with a DDT from the apron on Webb. It's all pretty nice stuff but the fucking FINISH is where this is must see. Sexxxy Eddy is brought to his knees and then kicked in the head, so he is laid back but with his feet underneath him. Like I said, I don't know Eddy as well as the others, but he seems like an absolute mentalist, because this is nuts. In that position, he takes a top rope leg drop by Flash and a fucking INSANE MOONSAULT STOMP TO THE BALLS!!!!
BYE BYE, BALLS!!
If there's a pro-wrestling magic trick to that, I don't wanna know it. What the fuck? And yeah, that's the finish, by the way. And that cements its place in the recommended matches twisty listy. If that's not spot of the night, then we have some show despite a war criminal like Joey Ryan giving their best efforts to destroy it.
More Sonjay heeling ensues post-match. We are supposed to just forget all about Sexxxy Eddy's balls. It's tough to make out all of it, but Jeff Jarrett is namedropped and there are big "fuck TNA" chants. I love how us-against-them it feels. I think if AEW sends a talent down to an indie nowadays it'll be all like "thank you for noticing us!". CZW fans only like CZW. Fuck TNA, fuck WWE, fuck XPW and fuck ROH. Beautiful.
Oh god, another legendary moment here. Something I've utilized for twitch promotional material. A bunch of wrestlers come out, led by Maven Bentley, to pay tribute to the recently deceased Chris Ca$h, who died in August of this year. But of course, last month Eddie Guerrero also passed away. Naturally, they want to make a gesture to him too.
That shit got me deep when Eddie died. I remember being 13 just refreshing forum pages and jolting up like "WHAT?!?" when a "RIP Eddie Guerrero" thread popped up. I got into wrestling from 2004 SmackDown post-WrestleMania 20, when he had one of the rawest feuds ever with JBL and that unbelievable bloodbath at Judgment Day. One of my first favourites and an utterly magnetic legend of the business. This Chris van Vliet looking leather jacket mofo doesn't seem to think so, though.
How it plays out is that Maven Bentley informs everyone that he would like a moment of silence for the ten bell salute to Eddie Guerrero.
Ding... Ding... Ding... Ding... FUCK THAT! Ding... Fuck you!! Ding... Motherfucker! *Ruckus solemnly shakes head* Ding... Piece of shit!! Ding... Fuckin' asshole! Ding... Ding... Throw him out!!
Maven Bentley, like a wet wipe of a supply teacher is all like "hey, next time you do that... ". Come on Maven Bentley, whose name I always have to type out in full, he ruined six Eddie Guerrero dings. That's over 50% of Eddie Guerrero's dings that have been tainted by this dumbass. You don't fuck with a dead man's dings. I like CZW fans speaking their minds, but in this case it's like... .just why??
A livid Eddie Kingston and several yellow shirted security staff start to surround the leather jacket guy, who is making "oh... did I OFFEND you?!?" type faces. It's so funny that they actually put him on camera, by the way. Two concerned looking women look like they want to teleport literally anywhere else right now. A "FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!" chant breaks out, and then it's presumably Zandig who gets on da stick off camera "SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TALKIN! SECURITY, GIVE THIS FUCKIN" CLOWN BACK HIS MONEY AND GET HIS ASS OUT OF THE BUILDING, YOU IGNORANT MOTHERFUCKER!!". TFW you're dancing on the table when the supply teacher Maven Bentley is in charge, but then the headmaster comes in and fucking murks you. Leather jacket guy is led away to a huge pop and chants of "Eddie!"
And then, oh yeah, this is about Chris Ca$h. A big loss to the heart of CZW. They're finally able to invite his parents into the ring to big "Chris fuckin' Ca$h!" chants. They are given a cheque, hugs and a great ovation. A really nice moment, after all of that.
Niles, you utter buffoon. That is the sipping sherry! And WHY is there a DOG on the COUCH?!
Anyway... 2 out of 3 falls TLC match. Hell yeah, I think we're back. Niles Young, who seems alright though I think I've mainly heard him spoken of in disparaging terms by those who followed CZW's later years more closely, gets the jump start on Frazier. Looking through his cagematch reviews, people mainly seem to object to the fact he had a 56 day CZW World Championship reign in 2014. But this is the Junior-Heavyweight title, and it's two thousand and fuckin' five, baby, so I'll disregard that.
First big moment is Niles sending Frazier (ha ha, still not over it) flying over the guard rail into a big pile of chairs. Some furniture building ensues, Frazier is writhing around while Niles crafts a big bed made of chairs and essentially delivers a diamond cutter off the apron through them.
Despite taking the brunt of the early offense, Derek Frazier is the one who delivers a chair-assisted inverted 450 leg drop(!) to Niles for the first fall. A bit weird for him to get the first fall with the way they worked it, but I can't say that I care too much. Go elsewhere for your cagematch approved gute psychologie. Gargiulo says that "in the 1900s, all matches would've been two out of three falls, and in between falls the wrestlers would go to the back for a rest period. This ain't the 1900s and there ain't no rest period!" So yeah, fuckin' suck it, Georg Hackenschmidt. When did he do a chair-assisted inverted 450 leg drop? Likely never, I would say. I probably would've heard about it if he did that in that recently unearthed footage of him.
I don't know how to describe the next insane spot. There's an open chair and Niles essentially just fucking DIPS Frazier headfirst into it with a driver of some description. Now, a table is wedged in the corner between the middle and top rope so that it's a flat surface, but with the legs side facing up for some reason. Niles gets Frazier up there but Frazier is able to fight back and delivers a piledriver through it!
Now a big fucking slam on a ladder on the outside by Niles who then balances a chair on Frazier's head, and "he may be setting him up for that Bam Mar-chair-a". God, I can not fucking wait to see what that Bam Mar-chair-a is. Turns out, that's him going to the top rope and chair stomping all the way down like it's a skateboard. And he's done that enough times for it to be given a name. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Niles attempts a top rope pop-up cutter through a table, it comes off a bit clumsily, but still cool. And that's the fall to tie it up for Niles.
The toys stay out of the ring for a bit, and hey these two just doing wrestling moves on each other is still really fun! But then, a massive yakuza kick from Niles is dodged and this fucking referee eats SHIT against the ropes!! Why this match needs a fucking ref bump, I don't know, but again, I'm not complaining. Frazier hits "pure impact" for a visual fall. The ref recovers and Niles gets a ladder to climb up that hanging Cage Of Death platform to try and deliver a SUPER-DUPER BAM MAR-CHAIR-A!? But Frazier moves, and I have no fucking clue how Niles didn't snap his ankle there. Then Frazier hits Niles with a hands-up chairshot, which the crowd boo because he didn't fucking brain him pre-Benoit style, like he hasn't just taken a 10 ft. drop on his fucking foot. The crowd could be a lot better for this, honestly. It doesn't retract much from my enjoyment, but I see everyone just planted in their seats, I can't fathom not being up and yelling for the vast majority of this. Clearly, they've been spoiled for gloriously dumb spotfests. I remember hearing that Kevin Steen had a go at them for these reasons at some point and it makes a lot of sense.
The finish to this tops it all off beautifully. Another tough one to describe but Niles is just POISED on two chairs, using his arms for balance, and Frazier climbs up to the platform structure before delivering MASSIVE DOUBLE STOMP! for the win. Watch this wonderful match.
Proper CZW match. Innovation and stupidity in equal measures. A real classic "hey watch this shit" mentality that I fucking love.
BLKOUT come out. Sabian is with some black ladies in bikinis who dance about, Sabian then finds a titty lady in the crowd and puts a cash note down her chest, cash value indetermined. Eddie Kingston isn't interested in these antics. He wants to have match.
The Kings brag their way to the ring and are jumped for a quick start by BLKOUT. Tiny little Sabian working on Claudio looks pretty ridiculous. The Kings have a move where they form a wheel with their bodies and Claudio does a little spear into the corner. That's really odd. It gets a spirited applause. Claudio does a thing where he pretends to botch launching over the ropes, but then does a kip up and cuts off the tag. That's also quite odd. It gets a less spirited applause. Sabian is the FIP here, but after seeing what a horny sex guy he is, I bet he wishes FIP stood for Fingers inda Pussy!
Do people who like Chris Hero's epic matches of the 2010s and such enjoy this version of him? Cos I don't usually like epic match Chris Hero, but I find the oddball energy of the two of them quite funny here. It definitely helps that they are goading Eddie Kingston, who makes for perfect contrast. It's no surprise that Eddie & Claudio would still make for incredible, natural opponents almost 20 years later.
Hero fakes out doing some kind of driver on Sabian, instead doing... THE CRAVAT!! U utterly magnificent barstud m8! Sabian is another guy who inexplicably became CZW World Champion about ten years later. I think that one is madder than Niles Young/Sozio, 'cos what the fuck? He's about 4 ft. fucking 2. Eddie tags in which I'm pleased about, he does the Kobashi chops in the exact same way that he would do them now. I guess if there's ever a time to mimic Kobashi's chops, it's late 2005. I bet it would've been fun to see him witness Kobashi vs. Sasaki for the first time. If you gave me unquestioned power, I'd probably take those out of his repertoire, personally. It doesn't really bother me, in fact it's quite endearing how his non chopping hand starts going too, like a dog's leg when you find that one itchy spot on their back. But it doesn't really look great in isolation. It doesn't get the crowd horned up like Kobashi's able to do, and just gets a few boos here if anything. I dislike the whole assumption from Eddie's critics that "oh, his marks love him because he's a tribute act to all their puro faves!". I love him 'cos of his fucking immense humanity, personality, selling and the vast majority of his offense. He feels more real than everyone else. Not in like an MMA shooter way, but in a human way. As a babyface, he's able to make me thump the air with his big victories, and slump my head with his big defeats. None of it has anything to do with his taste in AJPW tapes. It just winds me up to see the vast amount of people who don't get Eddie Kingston, people who are absolutely getting wrestling wrong, and that spot probably doesn't help that matter, but hey if he wants to do it - go ahead, he's earned it. I love him with or without his little gummy hand chops.
Anyway, with that out of the way, and Chris Hero having done one of his funny little dive fake-outs that I could see coming from a million miles away, Eddie starts laying shit in. First, it's some gruesome looking pre-Benoit special headbutts to Hero, then he starts going HAM with the backfists and back elbows.
Now there's a spot where Claudio, on the top rope, manages to hoist Sabian onto one of those platform thingies. Then Chris Hero takes a massive run up and applies the cravat. I swear pre-2009 Chris Hero is just 75% a comedy wrestler and he just has one of the most misleading reputations out there. He's good at being a chickenshit cravat monster in front of these types of crowds that would shit on him at first glance, and I respect that so much more than any four star match from 2016. Funny spot! Sabian now, still up on that platform hits a big double stomp to Claudio (that you can tell from the camera angle didn't touch him, but shhh) but Hero yoinks the ref out of the ring before he can count to three. The finish comes soon after, Eddie eats a couple of uppercuts from Claudio and then Hero gets him with the Hero's Welcome (the Cross Rhodes). I mean, Sabian was right there practically wearing a big sign that says "PIN ME!!" on his head, but sure. Fun match!
Hero then gets a microphone and starts off the reason why I'm here writing up this project. ROH is coming to Philly again, and CZW has to do a fucking afternoon show because of it. What a disgrace. You can't get that drunk for an afternoon show. The sudden pandering to the CZW fans is certainly whiplash-worthy, but necessary to get this feud off the ground I suppose. Hero lays down the gauntlet. Next month, not at ROH, but at the CZW show, will Bryan Danielson have the BALLS (good job he's not asking Sexxxy Eddy) to step into enemy territory and accept his challenge? Great fuckin' business. Stoking the territorial fanbase while also making them want to see the ROH show.
Strange booking! Not guys I naturally associate with CZW at all. Sabin worked here one other time against Quack the prior month, Steen I guess was a regular but never to the extent that he felt like part of the furniture here as far as I have seen. Eric says that Sabin & Steen were trained by "Scott Diamoré". Chris Sabin misplaces a headscissors early on, but Steen bumps for it anyway to a portion of boos. Eric just says "both men miss!".
"HOW ARROGANT DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO CALL YOURSELF MR. WRESTLING!? I MAY AS WELL CALL MYSELF MR. COMMENTATOR!!". Oh, Eric. You still have your moments, even going solo. Steen does the spot where he stands on Sabin's hair and pulls him up by the arms, Eric says "I FEEL LIKE I'M CALLING A WOMEN'S SHOW!! I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME ON THE WOMEN'S SHOWS, BUT NOT FROM A CZW IRON MAN CHAMPION!" - it feels like he's too embarrassed to say WOMEN'S EROTIC WRESTLING.
This is definitely one of the matches I have the least to say about. It's alright. I believe Steen is freshly heel, and is trying stuff like "winding up for a chop but doing an eyepoke instead, which people clap for some reason" and "emphatically slapping on a chinlock, not as a resthold but because heh heh chinlock boring". It's a tad heavy-handed, but Sabin has some really fun comeback stuff and it's just cool to see him in there. Steen wins with a package piledriver, delayed landing for some extra stank. A fine match I'll forget all about tomorrow.
Eric has enjoyed telling us people's Cage Of Death event losing streaks tonight, and it turns out Ruckus is 0-4. It will never stop being weird to see Ruckus not be FAT, ERIC!! There's a suitably big fight feel to this one before they lock up with big duelling chants both ways. There's a pretty long feeling out process before it really feels like they get going. After some spots on the outside, Super Dragon decides to fuck up Robbie Mireno - Eric says he's been "disabilitated" which made me do several enthusiastic nasal laughs.
This has its moments without ever feeling like it's gonna become a great match, but it's still fairly fun. I'm team #RuckusShouldBeFat, but his stuff is still very entertaining to watch when thin. It's difficult to tell how motivated Super Dragon is and how much chemistry he has with Ruckus. Ruckus, though, then begins a punished arc; first, he does a springboard corkscrew thingy and gets nowhere near Super Dragon - this gets huge groans, oh no! Then he gets on the top rope, the same side as where one of the platforms is hanging above it, and he's just oblivious to it and bangs his head! Oh no!!! I can feel the tide of public opinion turning against him and it's not good. They tell him that he fucked up - I think he knows!! Eric then says that Ruckus has been severely under the weather with the flu, and man... it's not nice to see a good wrestler struggle like that. The bump to the head seemed like one that would just really suck and make you angry rather than anything concussive, but after that happens Ruckus just looks totally out of form, and it's not too long before Super Dragon puts him out of his misery with a psycho driver. Bryce hands Super Dragon the belt and he just immediately hurls it out of the ring. Bizarre vibes on this one! There's a long period of checking on Ruckus, he is fooked and needs to be carried out. And the fans turned their backs on him at the first sign of hardship! Easiest heel turn motivation ever, not knowing if that's the direction they went in or not.
Full disclosure, I haven't seen all the classic Cage Of Deaths yet, so I'm lacking the natural measuring stick comparisons. They're doing this war games style, as I believe is the norm for these at the time. It's Gage out first, still sporting those 2000s puffy hamster cheeks. 'Free Bird' plays and Necro's out there to join him.
Necro immediately starts flailing with wild strikes that could only come from him and he floors Gage. There's some dirty strike exchanges on the floor, some barbed wire scraping, and then after the shortest five minute interval ever (cos it was definitely closer to like 90 seconds), it's fuckin ZANDIG!! Immediately exhilarating strikes thrown between Zandig & Necro, accompanied by one of the biggest C-Z-Dub chants of the night. Gage comes back into the equation and they double team Necro, and one of the things they do is whip him with this gnarly looking strand of barbed wire.
Next, "back from Eye-raq", it's Joker! He does not follow up on his earlier problematic promise IRT Zandig, but he does much better imo; sending Zandig flying into barbed wire that his hair sticks to and then Joker starts HEADBUTTING A BARBED WIRE BAT INTO ZANDIG'S HEAD! He fucking loves a filthy pre-Benoit headbutt. Justice Pain in with purpose and intensity and getting the numbers game back means Zandig is immediately able to absolutely fucking hurl Necro Butcher out of the ring into one of those barbed wire spiderweb contraptions. Joker and Zandig are also thrown into it just in time for Toby Klein to come out and make the match complete.
This has all been a blast but then they just kick it into another gear somehow. Huge back body drop sends Gage crashing through a glass pane, Joker is hurled into a corner with loads of tacks in it and Zandig is stapling the fuck out of Necro's head, all in the space of like fifteen seconds. I'm really impressed by Joker, how for a guy who cuts such a tuff guy promo and says fuck a lot, he is not afraid to let out some truly haunting screams when being tortured with the barbed wire. Toby Klein's back is just entirely red, I start pondering the last time I saw such a red back until HOLY FUCKING SHIT NICK GAGE JUST FUCKING HURLS A LADDER AT NECRO'S HEAD FROM OUTSIDE THE RING!!
I don't know how the fuck someone either agrees to take that, or just do it to someone else because they felt like it but wow. One of the craziest spots ever. EVER!!
The ladder is then hurled at speed at Toby Klein, which would be the sickest spot in the vast, vast majority of other matches, but is like a schoolboy roll-up compared to that last one. Now Justice Pain is trying to lift up Necro, who's surely as legitimately fucked as it gets at this point, he can't get him up for a Pain Thriller so just deadlifts him and fucking DUMPS him out of the ring like a bag of shit. Necro has that classic Necro look where he's just a head covered in blood, with mouth agape but still, in a state of perpetual agony, like a discovered corpse that was recently hacked to bits. Or as 2005 Necro called it; Saturday. And then he just gets up!!! And starts punching again!!! This cunt won't die!!! He starts stomping the fuck out of Justice Pain and the crowd are losing their shit. Zandig interrupts him and he takes the wonkiest ass DDT you've ever seen. Little note from a few weeks after watching/writing about this one: this portion of the match has been stuck in my head the whole time and then I suddenly remembered, holy shit - that Necro Butcher shoot interview about this where he said "That's Jake Roberts' finish. I have to sell that". He also confirms that he had no idea Gage was about to hurl a ladder at his skull, and that he was retaliating against Justice Pain for chucking him out of the ring and would still be stomping his ass today if Zandig didn't stop him. It's pretty incredible that he went apeshit at that and yet a ladder to the brain can be forgiven. Only Necro Butcher!
Toby Klein - his selling is so sick. His eyes roll to the back of his head and his mouth does exaggerated snoring like a Looney Tunes cartoon character. There are shots of Gage and Klein fighting on the outside and they are just absolutely filthy from that grotty, dusty ass floor. Finally, that ominous platform above the ring. Not enough of a highspot. How about some flaming tables for Zandig to dump Joker through? That'll do.
That was pretty fucking perfect. Like I said, I can't do direct comparison with all of the COD matches, but I'd be surprised if that wasn't one of the absolute best. Just six absolute psychos doing what shouldn't be natural for anyone but is somehow natural to them. Should be spoken about as highly as the Tough Crazy Bastards vs. H8 Club tags from earlier in the year, for sure.
Zandig says a bunch of motor-mouthed Zandig shit. He wants Lobo to come out here, he knows he's in the building. And eventually, here he is! Short-haired, rounder and uhh it seems like his nose doubled in size?? He still kinda sounds like Shane O'Mac, though.
Don't know what the fuck anyone's talking about, to be honest. Too tired to go back and try to decipher it, but Zandig's certainly seeming excited for 2006, and so am I!
Cue seven whole minutes of replays and then that's the end of the video!
An emotional rollercoaster with a really fucking bad dip about 40% of the way through but ends up feeling triumphant. A crowd that feels like they've seen too much and are filled with cynical dickheads, even during some really sick matches, but they pick up for that perfect main event. I think they tried to showcase too much non-CZW stuff, only a little of that stuff really came off. But the old reliables like Sonjay, skinny dudes doing TLC spots, and all the mentalists in the main event more than salvage it into a great show. Since I'm doing numerical ratings for shows this time, I'll say 8.5 out of 10. With the feeling the main event leaves me with, it SHOULD be more, but I just can't ignore how fucking bad that PWG title match was, and there are other missteps to consider. Still, really excited to follow CZW throughout this and really intrigued as to what "normal" CZW looks like in 2006.
"What's up, wrestling world? My name is Chris Wilson and I play- I portray a wrestler called Justice Pain." What the FUCK!?!? GRAPPLY FAKE!?!?!??
Clearly, Justice Pain has been reading da message boards and he's fucking had enough. These fucks are always reminiscing about your Nick Mondos and Ric Blades and constantly disrespect Justice Pain. He doesn't consider himself a hardcore wrestler and wants to further prove himself in regular matches. I'm not surprised after facing the fury of a concussed Necro Butcher last month. It's a bit of a rambling promo because he's clearly legitimately riled by the internet. Why won't online hardcore wrestling fans in the mid-2000s just be kind?
Time for a Niles Young promo now. This is the jist of it; I like you, Cloudy. You've got that cute entrance music. You endorse marijuana - I'm high right now. If you think you're taking my spot, then you must be high. Okay, time to get more high.
DJ Hyde is the future of this company. You can't tell him he's wrong! Deej has also continued reading the internet. Fuck you, fans! Last month "they" wouldn't air his promo. I guess he must've cut one after beating Dahmer, but hey DJ do you remember that pre-show promo that was sixteen fucking minutes long? He wraps this one up in two, though. In February, he will host an open challenge and beat somebody's fuckin' ass.
Only 21 minutes before this match graphic pops up. Gargiulo & Kingston on commentary, which should be a good time. Last time out, both of these guys featured in the legendary "END THIS!!!" match, which while it wasn't so bad as to merit existential screams, definitely was pretty crap. I've only ever heard glowing things about Sweeney, though I've only seen small portions of his stuff. Sweeney's promo is that whole deal where it's a dude yelling and 2006 indie mics are not equipped to handle it, but what is audible is that he takes issue with Excalibur's masturbation habits because Larry is sex haver. Excalibur retorts that he would rather (presumably cum) into a gym sock than onto the belly of a fat 14 year old girl from Louisiana. Right... Eddie's reaction to this is "at least he said girl!". Eric makes a "I'll pretend you said 18" reference. Great taste displayed all around here. Sweeney opts not to shake Excalibur's spermy hand and instead cheap shots him to start the match.
Eric immediately starts shooting on ROH. Eddie says that ROH has wrestlers, CZW has fighters. Eric says "they can take their wrestlers and shove them up my ass!". Yeah I typed that correctly, HIS ass! Lots of the match is spent on this topic because it's a pretty nondescript match that Excalibur wins after reversing a tombstone into a pin. Bit of a crap choice to open the show, really. There's one guy who did loud and long boos during the match, but not much other noise apart from a smattering of applause for a spike DDT. I wonder if the booing guy is the same guy who was in agony when these guys wrestled at Cage Of Death.
What a main event that was.
So, did the average wrestling fan used to be better at deciphering what the fuck people were saying in indie promos and we just lost that skill? What I made out of Niles Young's promo is that he enquired whether anybody has lost their small child (Cloudy short!) and later told him to get in the ring so he can pown him. He said pown. This should've been the opener - plenty of impactful and dynamic offense that drew "OHHH"s out of the crowd. It gets clunky in parts, but still really fun. Cloudy's awesome - a sick bumper, flyer and a great addition to the roster. Within this match, we learn that Bryce Remsburg used to be on Eddie Kingston's myspace top 8, but not anymore...
What a main event that was.
This was supposed to be Adam Flash vs. Nate Webb, but Webb's flight was unfortunately delayed, so we have this. I have not seen The Heretic in my life, nor have I heard anybody talk about him. He's in the back every month waiting for an opportunity to come up. Seemingly a CZW Dojo guy, worked a few times in 2004 & 2005 including at TOD IV's "ultraviolent student rumble". He has long black hair and pentagrams on his gear. He has one cagematch rating - a 2.0, but it was awarded in 2007 before unser großer führer Matt Macks made reviews mandatory. If you or somebody you know has an opinion on this guy, please don't hesitate to let me know.
This starts out with Flash holding onto Heretic's wrist as Heretic kips up into repeated lariats before hitting his own offense. Gargiulo goes "how did he recover so quick?" in an almost post-WWE Jim Rossian way because he clearly means "why isn't he selling that?". Later, Flash does a powerbomb on the apron, holds on and powerbombs him sideways into the guardrail. When it starts to look like Flash is just gonna wreck Heretic, Heretic begins to get some shit in - plenty of stuff where his lack of experience shows, but some smatterings of potential there too, which is funny to say about somebody who I know just completely petered out after a short career. Heretic is starting to gain a distinct advantage before Flash catches him with a second rope powerbomb. That was forgettable but painless. The Heretic has three more CZW matches awaiting him, and I'll see them all on this journey. I am determined to form and publish the first ever concrete opinion on this guy! Eric starts ranting about ROH unprompted again after the match; "IT'S NOT ABOUT SHAKIN HANDS IN HERE AND MAKIN OUT AFTER THE MATCH!! YOU WANNA HANDSHAKE - GO RENT A ROOM!!"
What a main event that was.
BUSINESS JUST PICKED UP!! Gargiulo & Kingston are both fucking livid at the sight of Danielson just casually hopping over the guardrail and flipping off the fans. This beautiful dynamic is up and running now. Danielson runs his mouth a bit, says that to see the best wrestler in the world in action you'll need to go to the ROH show later tonight. Hero, who has quite clearly been a heel goof for the vast majority, if not all of his CZW career, comes down to defend CZW's honour and is treated like a god out there. Danielson & Hero square up for a moment before starting to scrap - Hero gets Danielson in the cravat and it's treated like the Stone Cold stunner.
Now it gets fucking ELECTRIC - Nigel McGuinness storms over the barricade but Castagnoli and Super Dragon immediately sprint in to intercept him. Then Austin Aries and Roderick Strong pour in, everyone in the crowd is losing their shit at this. And then the fucking locker room empties, even Lobo's out there to run off the invaders. "GOOD LUCK GETTING OUTTA HERE WITH A HANDSHAKE, BOYS!!". The camera shows numerous CZW guys chasing the ROH lads all the way out of the building, into their car and watches them driving off. They then cut to the guys supposed to be having this match stood in the ring soaking in the CZ-Dub chants and standing ovation before BLKOUT jump the Kings & Super Dragon to the begin the match.
This is a really fun brawl that keeps the energy going from the exhilarating angle that preceded it. It's quite all over the place in that there's usually two guys in the ring, but the fighting on the outside never stops. No holding the tag rope in this one and Bryce Remsburg does nothing to assert his authority. It's really great as an Eric Gargiulo fan to get a RAZZLE DAZZLE! immediately followed by a YAKOOZA KICK! Chris Hero catches lil Sabian in a cravat and swings him around Castagnoli style by his neck before slamming him down. Castagnoli hoists up Sabian for a delayed vertical - the fans count to sixteen before Hero just nut-taps Sabian. The Kings trap Sabian and get him ready to take a SUPER CURBSTOMP from the top rope by Super Dragon and that's i-uhhh... it's a two-count in one of the most excessive near-falls I have ever seen - c'mon the guy's 3 foot 6. The NEW CHAMPION jumping on his brain from five feet in the air doesn't finish him off?
Sabian is further murked by Super Dragon with a grotesque powerbomb into the turnbuckle. Cut to the Kings doing a double armbar to Eddie on the floor for some reason. Cut back to the ring and Sabian's on offense again somehow - second rope reverse rana to you, Super Dragon. I'd have put money on Sabian eventually eating the pin from SOMETHING, but nope, he does a pretty gruesome top rope double stomp to Castagnoli for the win. Isn't this Eddie Kingston's redemption story?
I think Sabian being some unbeatable force of nature here took something away from the match for me - he should have been pinned in his match at Cage Of Death as well - but there's still a ton of disjointed fun to be had here if you can stomach it all.
Eddie gets on the mic after the match. The main noteworthy thing is that he calls Gabe "that fat fucking jew promoter". Different times!
What a main event that was.
Gargiulo starts off by being wrong, saying that this is the only title match of the night. No it's not, Eric! Read the cagematch!
This one starts off quite subdued compared to the matches both had last month, and the match their former opponents had earlier in the show. Eddie Kingston gradually makes his way back to commentary and says he didn't mean any offence to Gabe. "OH MISTER SAWFTY OVER HERE!!" Eric interjects. Eddie clarifies that he means the racial remark. "I'M JEWISH, I DON'T CARE!! I'M GIVING YA A PASS FOR ALL THE JEWS OUT THERE!". Both guys are just totally ignoring the match until Frazier does what I would describe as a SUPER CROSSRHODES, which wakes everybody up, except Cheech!
Later, I've never seen somebody mess up the spot where the opponent is holding onto the ropes in the corner and get launched by their legs into a powerbomb, but Cheech may have done it twice here - first, he just kind of stumbles forward as Frazier lands butt first on the mat. Cheech then attempts it a second time but again the timing seems way off; it looks almost like he launched him into a backbreaker, but I don't think that was the intention since there was no knee-to-back contact - again, he just kinda stumbles and Frazier takes a pretty nasty looking one on his neck. Cue laughs, muttering and boos from the crowd.
What better way for Frazier to recover from a nasty neck bump than another nasty neck bump? This time from delivering his own reverse 'rana to Cheech. Cheech is gaining momentum until Niles Young sneaks down and crotches him on the top rope, then Frazier hits the "DISCHARGE DRIVER" for the win. ARE FRAZIER AND NILES WORKING TOGETHER!? Sadly, no 'cos he yakooza kicks Frazier immediately afterwards. Cloudy then comes down and attacks Niles, and then Cheech decides to attack Cloudy despite him beating up the guy who cost him the match, and also I'm sure Cheech & Cloudy were introduced as tag partners - perplexing stuff! This had a relatively slow start, and was pretty clumsy stuff in parts, but I still got a decent amount from this because I like this generation of overambitious skinny guys doing a gluttonous quantity of neck drops.
What a main event that was.
Justice Pain comes out to Mad Season, and that's a big deal because he hadn't been doing that recently, according to Eric. Awesome start to this one as they both just immediately hurl Bryce Remsburg out of the ring and start trading blows as a second referee quietly sneaks into the ring. Great Gargiulo quote here: "we haven't seen Joker do a lot of things we've seen him do". We also get the first reference to Hitman House in this project as Eric says "he'd sacrifice me to his own mother!".
This is a fun match; some nice striking, some weapon action. A straight up fight adding some nice contrast to the fairly junior-heavyweight dominated card. Another referee gets murked by Joker. Justice Pain grabs a chair from a fan, creams Joker with it and then draws back as if he's gonna hit the fan with it. The crowd's in a bit of a lull for it all for whatever reason. Maybe they really are just a bit spoiled - maybe if you see Zandig take the new sickest bump ever every 3 months, you stop being able to appreciate a nice and basic brawl because they only ever react to deathmatch stuff and neck bumps. I've seen almost all of CZW's 2002 and I swear they weren't quite like this, so the overexposure argument is a strong one, I feel. Though it might also be because of the internet narratives about Justice Pain that he was speaking about earlier. I don't care what the narratives of the time were, I think he's a good wrestler. Fuck you, message board!! But hey, he worked with XPW that one time and has shown himself to be thin skinned, so I guess this is what he's gonna get from these fans.
There's a very funny bit where Justice Pain is irish whipped onto a table and the table just goes skidding across the floor. Towards the end of the match, Joker kicks out of the Pain Thriller. Eddie questions who the last person to do that was. Eric says "JOKER, JUST NOW!!" like an obtuse little prick. Joker tries to send JP face first into a table that's set up in the corner, but it won't break. There are boos, because fuck off and go straight to hell and also die for slightly misjudging the laws of physics, I guess. Joker gives up on that and wrenches in a crossface which JP eventually taps to. Eric didn't see the tap and is like "WOW, HE PASSED OUT!!". I was pretty positive on this match. It has a weird vibe - I'm tempted to say it went on for a bit too long, but I really don't think I'd say that if this crowd gave them fucking ANYTHING AT ALL! They worked fucking hard, had good strikes, some cool spots but any appreciation they got for doing so was just so fucking subdued. Deep down, I know that it shouldn't matter but it just gave it such an awkward atmosphere that tainted the experience somewhat. So I don't know if it can make my twisty listy with this in mind. A bit of a shame.
What a main event that was.
Nate comes out while the ring crew are removing the ropes ready for the main event. He complains about airports for a bit and then accuses ("that fucking whore") Pandora of hacking into his flight details. He says "Have you ever tried to hitchhike with a moustache like this? Not easy!" and then invites Adam Flash out for the scrap they didn't get to have earlier. They do indeed have a bit of a scrap. They go into the ring for a bit whilst WHACKS looks over at them and then goes back to unfurling barbed wire. Then they brawl until they're behind the curtain. End segment.
What a main event that was.
Metallica, Skynyrd and Linkin Park are the respective theme songs for this one. Necro has no shirt and no shoes. Gage gives Bailey a slight shove into the barbed wire while the ring announcer was giving his introduction. He's such a liberty taking dick and it's awesome. There's a great bit where Necro is chopping Bailey, who bumps for him, and each time Necro shakes his head disappointedly. Soon after, we don't get a good shot of it but it looks like JC's BELLY SKIN in stuck in the barbed wire!
The referees took a beating in the prior match, but now they can have a nice bre-fuck you referee Sabata(?). Necro just shoves him into the barbed wire for no reason. Karma is coming for Necro in the form of Gage forcing his bare foot into the barbed wire and then standing on it with all his weight. Another seriously gruesome spot is Necro being dumped front first onto the top of the barbed wire - it looks like his shins and foot take the whole weight of his body on the barbs.
Weird fucking finish to this. Necro murks JC with a tiger driver on a chair and gets the pin. New champion?? It was quite sudden and commentary seems unclear about whether this is elimination rules or not. The announcer calls him the new champion. But now here's extremely fucked up looking Lobo, he smacks Necro with the belt and feeds him to Gage who pins him with one foot. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I STAND CORRECTED. THE ACTUAL NEWWW ULTRAVIOLENT UNDERGROUND CHAMPION - NICK GAGE!". I don't know what the fuck Lobo's up to. He looks so crazy, man - the short hair, his hunch and I swear to god this man has had a nose enlargement. This match ended a bit prematurely but was very sick while it lasted.
What a main event that was.
A pretty good one. Another mixed bag, just that this time the lows were less low and the highs were less high. That's all fine considering the different scale of the shows. This is just business-as-usual Combat Zone, apart from that utterly electric invasion angle. I strongly feel that a mixed bag (as long as it doesn't contain Joey Ryan boring me to fucking tears) is part of the charm of CZW. The way the crowds give certain stuff fuck all in this era can be maddening, yet I continue to be drawn to it. 7 out of 10 for this one.
We start off straight in the ring. Aries & Roddy come out both wearing dress shirts with like the top three or four buttons undone. Aries says they are making the ROH tag titles really prestigious. Roddy gets the mic and says pretty much the same thing, but he's also looking forward to his FIP title match later on. Roddy leaves so Aries can deal with this alone. Aries says it's hot and does anybody mind if he takes his shirt off? WOMEN scream, which is weird. I never had Aries down as a Jeff Hardy, nor did I think ROH had the audience to make one.
Reyes comes out with Julius Smokes absolutely running his mouth. It would be really sick if Smokes came back to wrestling, TONY... This starts off at a good pace with a typical Aries tope interrupting the shit talking on the outside. I've not seen a huge amount of Reyes - if you squint you can imagine at points that you're watching a Low Ki match, but then it becomes apparent that you are not. Perhaps that's where some of his heat originates from, but he still seems to have pretty good intensity and form. Reyes begins a control segment that Aries doesn't escape from, Reyes locks in a dragon sleeper but allows his own shoulders to be pinned for the three count. He doesn't seem to care how silly this makes him and keeps it wrenched on until Roddy comes back out for the save.
I learn that ROH is still doing the top 5 rankings at this point, but they speed through them using only pictures and about 8 seconds of energetic music. 5) Christopher Daniels. 4) Jimmy Rave. 3) Alex Shelley. 2) KENTA. 1) Jay Lethal. I had to go back to check that, it was that fast.
Some promos now. Colt Cabana is mad at Homicide for pouring drano in his mouth at Final Battle '05, which feels like a justified response. He gets up and then Adam Pearce instantly sits in the same seat, he's mad at Jim Cornette for booking him in a shitty six man mayhem match. I like to imagine a huge queue of guys lining up to sit in The Promo Seat.
I'm always torn on what to think of the Pure title rules - it's undoubtedly an example of galaxy-brained Gabeism, but with someone like Nigel in his pomp I am pretty okay with it. It's interesting to see what is essentially a Pure competitive squash. Mamaluke is able to display some nice matwork as you'd expect, but uses his three designated rope-breaks early as Nigel goads him saying "you Italian piece a' shit". Mamaluke gets a hope flurry in, but is caught in a kimura which he submits to. This was a nice match. What a valuable lower/midcarder Tony Mamaluke was to this roster.
Okay, this is a weird thing that hadn't registered with me until now. CZW Castagnoli is Chris Hero's dickhead mate, but ROH Castagnoli is a cool guy who says HEYYY! One of presumably few crossover inconsistencies going into this war.
The crowd chants "die Jimmy die" going into this one and throw rolls of toilet paper at him. The Embassy are a team that can eat a bunch of shit and retain their heat as they are made to land on each other and accidentally dropkick one another. Prazak is hyping the introduction of THE TAG ROPE to ROH - Jim Cornette has insisted on it! So that's... great!
Former Special K member Azrieal is the FIP (not Full Impact Pro) in this one as Nana shouts stuff like "THIS IS YOUR FRIEND?! HAHAA! HE'S NOT EVEN DOIN ANYTHING! HA HAA!". Rave has a move called gonorrhoea - I know this not because he hit it, but because during an exchange with Claudio, Prazak says "looking for gonorrhoea!". That feels way more CZW coded than it does ROH! The obvious L eater here, Azrieal, gets isolated and put into a butterfly hold that he submits to in a very fun bout.
We are transported to a FIP ring and Gabe Sapolsky tells us that we are watching highlights of Roderick Strong vs. Jack Evans - a match so good they had to just call the show "Strong vs. Evans", in a real display of proto-EVOLVEism. What do these highlights consist of? It's literally just Evans being caught in a backbreaker. That's not what highlights are, Gabe!!
Back to ROH now, and here's Gary Michael Cappetta to tell us that FIP is a Florida based promotion, it runs twice a month in Florida, IT IS different to ROH... . it is ROH's sister promotion, but it's DIFFERENT in that it's an anything goes promotion... there are no general managers, there are no bookers(?), the wrestlers rule the roost. What the fuck are you talking about, Gary? Anyway, he introduces "lawless wrestler" and current FIP champion of 16 months; Homicide. Cue clips of Homicide executing moves in FIP rings. Homicide uses the mic ever so briefly to say "WE GONNA HAVE A FIGHT TONIGHT! I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!". After Roddy says he's not gonna take it easy on Homicide's injured shoulder, Bryan comes out to 'Obsession' by Animotion (Saturday Night's Main Event theme - it really suits him!) and for some reason is managed by Dave Prazak? I think that pairing has escaped me until now. I guess it's a FIP showcase, but an odd move to alternate universe such familiar guys like this. The match is made a three-way.
Roddy goes down the ramp to beat up Bryan whilst Homicide is jumped in the ring by noted drano guzzler Colt Cabana wearing street clothes. A fucked up split-screen situation occurs. Dave Prazak is magically replaced on play-by-play as Gabe Sapolsky (credited as Jimmy Bower) joins the succulent Lenny Leonard on commentary. Colt sends Homicide shoulder first into the barricades as Gabe notes "if anything so much as touches that shoulder, it's gonna rip out of its socket", then Colt is chased away by "the thugs" so the camera focuses wholly on Roddy & Bryan.
Bryan & Roddy continue to brawl. I know they have a series of long, divisive matches together but it's tough to imagine anybody having a problem with this. Homicide joins in with the action once they get back inside the ring. He throws ill-advised lariats and forearms given his shoulder situation and is then caught in a Danielson armbar which leads to the match being called quickly. A nice short little thing. Prazak gets a high five and we have a new Face-In-Peril champion.
We start off with duelling chants that go on for too long. I was pretty disinterested with this one. I like Jay but I think he really smoothens his formula out in the 2010s - he's not quite there yet. ROH Daniels has never been a fav of mine and doesn't provide an interesting enough dynamic to get something noteworthy out of a young Lethal. A normal workrate match. You might like it if that's what gets ya off. Daniels rolls up the #1 ranked Lethal to apparently get his win back. I kind of would've assumed that TNA had snatched Daniels away by this point in time, but nah apparently he still has about 40 ROH matches left in the 2000s.
Daniels is like hey Jay you wanna join The Prophecy? What the Prophecy looks like in 2006, I have no idea. This dude still hate handshakes?? Before Jay can give an answer, Samoa Joe storms down to chase off Lethal who recently wronged him in some way. Daniels attacks Joe and they fight, but then Lethal sneaks back in for a low blow to Joe. Lethal goes to lay into Joe some more, but "Daniels pulls him off" (hehe). Then you see BJ Whitmer running down the ramp in a blue dress shirt - one fan stands up at this sight and claps really fast like a fangirl... for BJ Whitmer...
Blowjob Whitmer takes out Daniels with an exploder as Lethal slinks away. Blowjob gets on the stick and says he's never forgiven Daniels for walking out on The Prophecy two years ago. He also wants Samoa Joe at 100% for their match later, so rest up big man... Blowjob leaves, then Joe gets up and shotgun dropkicks the fuck out of Daniels.
See, I've rewatched Final Battle 2005 recently, so I just about know what's going on with everybody, but that was a bit of a convoluted segment with a bit too much to take in.
Six man mayhem matches are silly and filled with jabronis. Those are the thoughts of current Raw GM Adam Pearce, who I'd better not see book any of them! Jack Evans embraces this match type and totally (2006 voice) "SERVED" Adam Pearce by doing a dance routine that Adam quite frankly struggles to replicate!
So Adam is the disgruntled bully of the match, calling Trik Davis a "fucking midget" since I guess Adam is kinda big by ROH standards. Jack Evans provides the Fly White Boi stuff; my favourite bit is when he calls out for a BUSAIKU KNEE but Rinauro ducks it so Jack just goes flying over the top rope. My least fav bit is probably when Pearce does the Cesaro swing to one of the jabronis - I think Jason Blade - and all the other jabronis run in very unnaturally to get hit with the swinging wrestler. There's also a cool bit when it looks like they're gonna hit the trope of all the wrestlers topping each other's dives, but Trik Davis who was next up gets cut off wonderfully by a Pearce pounce.
Blade & Mikaze look to be forming a bond, they link arms on the top rope and go for a moonsault-senton combo but Pearce dodges it. Then Pearce tosses Blade to the outside and almost fucking kills him. Pearce then murks Mikaze with a piledriver and looks to wrap up a certain win, but Evans manages to break the pin up with a fucking 630 and is able to pin Mikaze himself. I would say Evans almost missed his time cue here, but just about lands it in time.
You know what to expect from an ROH scramble; generally it's the median quality ROH scramble, but when Jack Evans is involved in one of these, it's always gonna be enough fun to keep me chuckling and reacting throughout.
My first thought is: Tony Khan should really pay for the Godzilla theme intro for a Joe PPV match. You could probably just use those few seconds and then go into his normal theme, just cough up the cash!! Blowjob Whitmer is a weird one for me because I always default to thinking of him in Delirious' 2015 ROH as a Washed Guy Who Pretty Much Just Sucks, but for most of the 2000s stuff I've seen him in, he's fine as a Guy Just About Good Enough To Hang With Great Wrestlers. Yet it will never be enough to shake the mental image of him as that mid-2010s hanger-on.
First notable occurrence in the match itself is Joe putting too much momentum into a running knee to the corner and taking a tumble down to the apron that looked like it sucked. It's almost always just exhilarating to see 2000s Joe move out there. The olé kick is one of my formative memories of seeing non-WWE wrestling for the first time and just being like Holy fuckin shit bro. One olé kick is cut off by Blowjob but later Joe is able to hit a snappy one that absolutely creams Blowjob and sends him flying over the barricade.
A table appeared rested up against one of the barricades and Blowjob is able to hit an exploder suplex and Joe takes a gruesome bump, only clipping the table and eating absolute shit on the floor. ROH fans of course complained about it, but it is pretty crazy that TNA didn't snatch their important guys away from ROH sooner when they're having matches this physical here - he's gonna wrestle Kurt Angle this year, yet here he is putting it all on the line to try get Blowjob over!
This is really sick as a whole. Joe goes for the Ohtani boot scrape, but Blowjob catches him in another exploder and it is a great sight every time to see Joe take this bump. Joe tries to choke Blowjob out but Blowjob bites an actually visible chunk out of his arm. Joe eats a couple of Blowjob forearms but then slaps the fuck out of him, then he does one of those amazing upward kicks to Blowjob's face. Blowjob is KO'd, Joe hammers a couple of nasty downward elbows as the ref calls for the bell. Probably the best Blowjob singles match I have ever seen. I think he was just really good. Still gonna call him that, though. You can't say he doesn't deserve it.
After this match, there's the swift comedown of a Jimmy Jacobs promo. He insists that he's come a long way. He and Blowjob have lost the tag titles, but he love Lacey. He want fuck Lacey. It cuts to him in his bed pouring two glasses of wine and saying "this bed's big enough for two". Great..!
The short comedown of the weird Jimmy Jacobs segment is halted as it's time to get stuck into this one. This begins more measured and workratey than the wild fight that preceded it, but I don't know if there's anybody I'd take in that genre of match over mid-2000s AJ Styles. I'm a pretty big fan of Sydal too though and his gruesome apron bump from a brainbuster is the first big highlight of the match.
Two similarly well-rounded wrestlers, one of them a top 3 wrestler in the world at the time, showing off the flying you'd expect from them but also great versatility and unfathomable timing. There are plenty of top tier bumps in this. At one point, Sydal hits a wild moonsault to the outside and over the barricade - big holy shit chant for this, but what really caught my eye was a bald fan with glasses pulling out a notepad & pen and quickly writing something down. I REALLY FUCKING HOPE HE WAS ADJUSTING HIS STAR RATING!! THAT'D BE AWESOME!! Like what else could he have felt the need to write down at that point? I commend it, though. I think if you subscribe to the dork ass fucking Meltzer scale when analysing wrestling, you've really got to take it as far as possible. He claps the spot while wedging his notepad in the inside of his elbow once he is done - I think that could be plus half a star, maybe even three quarters!
WAS THIS YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW? GET IN CONTACT.
It is tough to move on from this astonishing find, but this match is still great throughout. Lots of incomprehensibly great stuff that is tough to attempt to describe. The one I feel a need to write down is when Styles hits a fucking... tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but with Sydal landing on Styles' back. I definitely can not do it justice in words, it looked sooo sick.
One of the key things that often makes a prime AJ Styles match so crucial is the wide variety of sick things that can happen when a guy is in position for a Styles Clash. This time it's a legitimately astonishing, Here Comes The Pain animation-resembling West Coast Pop from Sydal. Just fucking beautiful. I don't always like my wrestling moves to be video game animation levels of clean, but wow, AJ's flip bump for that is just out of this world. He puts 99% of other athletic wrestlers to shame with how picture perfect he seems to do fucking everything at this time. I've picked up on this before, I think I was watching the 2000s WRESTLE-1 where I believe he was facing Kaz Hayashi and his dropdown-leapfrog routine had my jaw on the floor, when almost every other wrestler bores me to tears doing this stuff. He's so great.
The finish is equally insane; they go to the top and it seems like a superplex to Styles is on the menu, but Styles just fucking hoists Sydal up into Styles Clash position, almost dropping Sydal straight onto his head in the process but just about managing to save his life. Sydal is able to pull off the same West Coast Pop counter to this all the way from the top, but Styles is able to use momentum to roll into his own pin in the blink of an eye and this gets the win for him. The timekeeper seems to ring the bell extra enthusiastically which felt fitting for such a glorious match. I hope notepad guy gave it at least fourna quarta. After seeing the best Blowjob Whitmer singles match I've ever seen, I've now seen the best Matt Sydal singles match I've ever seen. Samoa Joe and AJ Styles are pretty decent, hey?
AJ picks up the stick now. At first, it's your pretty standard put-over of Sydal. Then it gets fucked up. It's a 2000s indie promo, so it's tough to transcribe verbatim but I will try; "I requested this match with you for a reason. Now I'm gonna propose, not in a sordid kinda way. (crowd mutters) Don't worry about f*gg*ts. (HUGE POP!) This ain't WWE, and we ain't Billy & Chuck! (CROWD APPLAUDS THIS WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT REFERENCE)". The gist is that Styles has been looking for somebody to replace The Amazing Red for AJ to go for the ROH tag titles with. Sydal accepts. That's nice and all, it's just quite flabbergasting for it to happen in the most 2000s AJ Styles way possible.
Quick Adam Pearce promo to note before we get to the main event. His voice sounds hoarse and there's a mark on his throat. Presumably a damaged larynx. He is calling out Jim Cornette, he says "I hope you think my voice is a WORK!" and resents being "put in stinking matches with midgets and r*tards who kick people in the throat". He says that Jim can feel free to put him in these matches again and again and he will show the lengths he will go to in order to prove himself. All things considered, it's a fairly good promo. This all feels like a more engaging version of a feud Cornette had with a guy called Johnny Spade that I saw when I watched a month of 2001 OVW. That's not a reference I expect anybody to get, but I can fit a cheap plug in here: check out the Official Grapply Podcast episode #11 on OVW Christmas Chaos 2001 to get a better understanding of that.
I've been looking forward to this. I've never been a big Chris Hero fan, in fact more often I've flirted with Certified Hater territory. In this project though, I've found him endearing and the dynamic surrounding him in these early stages of the war is really interesting.
Hero as the funny dickhead who taunts CZW fans with his love of cravats and then rises up heroically (pun legitimately not intended, shut the fuck up it's just the appropriate word to use) in defence of the company when they need it is really cool. I've literally never looked forward to a Chris Hero match more than this. Something worth noting is that somebody in a discord server I'm in named this as one of Danielson's few legitimate stinker matches in his career. This is somebody I disagree with routinely, but the other match he named is one that I agree with (Danielson vs. Okada in AEW with the time limit stipulation on Okada's title from 2024 - DON'T GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THAT!!!). So that added extra intrigue to this since I know that discord user is a huge Hero advocate. I guess I'll see if I agree or if I can even see where he's coming from. No bias except for my love of how this was built at CZW's shows.
The first thing we see is Hero accompanied by Necro, Adam Flash, Nate Webb and little Bryce Remsburg in his black and yellow ref shirt who will NOT be officiating this match. Flash & Webb were scrapping with each other earlier today! Hero is also holding a burned CD which he passes on to a guy and insists is played. A Hero chant sounds but is drowned out by a "Fuck you Hero" chant - the footy fans away end dynamic I've spoken about is finally here. The song on the CD? LAYIN' THE LAW, ONCE AGAIN, PREPARE FOR WAR, CZW! Necro, who of course had been in the barbed wire match earlier that very afternoon, bashes himself in the skull and instantly bleeds hardway down his right eye. Big Necro chant that some try to drown out with boos. Five fucking stars so far.
Hero gets on da stick and says there's a lot of stupid sons of bitches who said that Chris Hero would never wrestle in ROH. ROH and Gabe Sapolsky reminds him of an elitist dictatorship that (DROWNED OUT BY "SHUT THE FUCK UP" CHANTS). He promises to win the ROH title, take it back to CZW and throw it in the fucking trash. The lights go down and 'The Final Countdown' begins to play, although Hero is livid as he says "I'm not finished yet!!".
Danielson is another with this similar dynamic that Hero has had, though we hadn't seen this until now. He is very much a heel champion, in his "I have until five!" pomp, but he gets a hero's reception as he comes out to defend his promotion against these invaders. Bryan gets in the ring and goes nose-to-nose with Hero. Some C-Z-Dub chants begin and are quickly interrupted by a louder "SUCKS!" after them. As Bobby Cruise is introducing Danielson, stating that he is the ROH World Champion, Danielson whispers something in his ear; "... and the wrestler too good to EVER wrestle for CZW!". Fucking electric. Apparently this match had happened once in PWG and three times in IWA Mid-South. It's funny to imagine Danielson snubbing CZW, but happy to wrestle in one of Ian Rotten's wonky, blood-caked rings.
A bit of chain to start off, before Hero is sent out of the ring by a Dragon dropkick. Hero takes his time on the outside as the fans give him shit and Necro says "Oh for the love of gawd!". Hero continues to stall, getting on the top rope to draw a reception from the fans. Danielson merely observes this and then gets on the top rope himself to get a much more respectable reception. This is all feels appropriate in canon to the character Danielson was portraying at the time.
A wild Gabe/Jimmy Bower appears on commentary and says "who are these homeless men outside the ring?". They did pick some pretty perfect scuzzy guys to represent CZW here, I must say. Gabe also asks "what the hell is a Necro Butcher?". Gabe keeps leaving and coming back throughout the match - at one point he comes back like "it's not over yet?" and as Prazak explains that Hero will be no pushover, Gabe says "I actually don't care" and leaves again. He says some funny stuff, but is definitely a bit heavy-handed throughout - it was a strange decision to make the vehement pro-ROH support to sound like a heel move on the ROH tape from how much of a dick he's being about. I'm sure there were probably too many sore feelings and other obstacles to prevent it, but some Eric Gargiulo could've gone down nicely here.
A funny wrinkle is Hero getting a rope-break, Danielson uses the full four seconds he knows all too well that he has, but on the outside Bryce is also furiously counting along with the actual official Todd Sinclair. There's a lot of holds in this. They don't keep it exclusively on the mat by any means, but there's enough of it to probably define the match. You'd probably expect that from Hero vs. Danielson in neutral territory, but it comes as something of a surprise in an atmosphere this heated. I still think it works fine, though. Both are arrogant and eager to prove their superiority in the niche that comes second nature to them, Bryan having recently come back from his Butlins tour prior to winning the belt. It's engaging work, too - Danielson has Hero in the Indian death lock for a good while, even able to confidently rotate his hips, certain of his superiority before Hero is able to get him in a wristlock while the hold is still intact.
Hero starts to find luck with his persistent arm work. Lots of it is worthy of a wince as you absorb Bryan's pain through the screen. He does some finger wrenching in a way that's far removed from the gimmicky bullshit of a Bruiserweight or Party Marty. Danielson gets in a comeback flurry of literally just about ten stinging slaps to the face of Hero.
I do hear someone shout "boring" as they are in the midst of a good strike exchange that ends with a Hero "roaring eye poke". I don't know what that's about or whether it came from a CZW or an ROH fan. I think I also heard someone tell that fan to shut up, as so often is the case. Bryan seems to use the last of the strength in his left arm to lock in the cattle mutilation, but Hero is able to roll sideways to the rope. Hero later gets Bryan into his second really fucking wrenched crossface of the match and the fans are really starting to bite that there could be a submission - chants of "please don't tap!" as well as "tap! tap! tap!", but Danielson is able to just about escape again.
Towards the end, Danielson fighting out of the Hero's Welcome with frantic knees is great, but Hero is able to land a few forearms and then hit it for a good near-fall. Hero goes for another but Danielson spins out and is able to hit a tiger suplex, bridging into a pin for a two count. Danielson maintains control the arms and looks to follow up with the cattle mutilation, but it's blocked. Danielson is able to get in the crossface chickenwing though, which he then goes to the ground and grapevines with his legs, forcing Hero to submit.
With almost no breathing room after the finish, Prince Nana of all people comes out. He presents a cheque and wants to BUY the ROH title! Wow, can you believe this guy? Danielson says the money in Ghana ain't worth SHIT and declines this offer. Nana slappy him! Danielson immediately goes to pummel Nana, but The Embassy run in and beat him down. Alex Shelley says he thinks he knows this f*gg*t's kryptonite and hits Sliced Bread #2 on him. "Why don't you take that to your WWF developmental territory in 1998, pal?". Erm... right? An odd line, but we move.
I thought that was pretty fucking great. If I have a gripe, it's that a technically focused match is not what comes naturally to the promotion warfare atmosphere and some of the scorching heat at the start of the match is allowed to drift away. Maybe they should've booked fuckin' Gage vs. Roddy or something instead with that in mind. Perhaps that's what holds it back from being considered a true classic of the era, but I thought the work was engaging, logical and strong in any context. I also KNOW that those perfect wild brawls are coming to this feud, so I am not so opposed to seeing a different approach here. Another comment I can make is that I wouldn't have minded Flash, Webb, Necro & Bryce doing something other than being cheerleaders - there are four of them after all, some overbooking and shenanigans could've been a lot of fun that would have sent people apeshit, but this is the promotion that has hammered home that they're "not that sports entertainment crap", after all, so whatever. This was still a great way to kick off the war.
Pretty triumphant show. Starts off standardly enough, but the second half is a fucking blast. Main evented by three great matches back-to-back-to-back. It's floor is a Lethal vs. Daniels match that is just 'whatever' rather than anything egregious. I'll go nine out of ten.
Bryan Danielson is looking forward to proving his dominance over "MENSA's favourite wrestler"; Roderick Strong.
The Embassy look forward to showing that Alex Shelley can do the Sliced Bread #2. He's been practicing it on Prince Nana's Ghanaian servants. Alex Shelley and Jimmy Rave have a wee argument, and Abyss is endearingly trying to play mediator.
Fuck yes. Straight to the point as Team Lacey jump their opponents immediately - the crowd is electric and we go right into some high spots capped off by an insane Jack Evans Sasuke Special into a picture perfect 'rana, and every single fan in that front row starts slappin' the fuck out of those metal barricades. Ideal ROH shit here.
I haven't seen much of Jimmy Yang post-Akio, but he's fun here. Nice hot tag after some Sydal FIP where he lands on his feet after a BJ German but decides to pretend to be hurt, making Blowjob Whitmer look like the FOOL that he is.
Various guys run into the ring and kill each other with various moves - BJ ragdolls Sydal around with suplexes and powerbombs like in that one really excessive King throw in the early Tekkens, but referee Todd Sinclair is resolute in not counting any pins that don't involve the legal men, whoever those are.
An Evans 630 on Jacobs sees his team through to the finals. I'm an absolute sucker for an opener like this, where it feels like the fans have been queuing for days and are absolutely ravenous to see a no bullshit, fast paced match with dazzling high spots. Wonderful. Is this becoming a lost art?
My first time seeing Abyss in ROH, I believe! I need to get to that scramble cage or whatever at some point. Jay Fury is just a dude being given an opportunity to join up with Team Job Boy here. He looks like slightly more adult sized jacked Jonathan Gresham. Regardless of who he's opposite, Rave is getting some incredible heat here. Mamaluke does some fun mat stuff with Shelley, Shelley eventually counters some of the dominance he's been on the wrong end of by biting Mamaluke's hand.
For all the heat The Embassy and especially Rave have been receiving, when Abyss finally tags in these fans all just want to see him murk, and he obliges their wishes. Underrated Abyss thing: the big splash in the corner where he does the funny stompy run.
This one goes less inherently HAM than the opener, but it's still a ton of fun - a perfect level of escalation of crazy shit leading into the finish ensues. Shelley gets Fury with the Sliced Bread #2. I knew nothing about Fury, I'd say he made a good impression here - he has a nice hot tag and good form in his flips that he looks like he should be too stocky to pull off, his SSP looked video game style unrealistic in a really good way.
Before the next match plays, Dim Courgette himself speaks on the Homicide/Cabana feud. He says that until they can be trusted to settle their differences professionally, they will both be suspended from ROH events. Jim says all of this over a 'Homicide murks Colt Cabana in increasingly violent and fucked up ways' compilation.
Whose side are you on, Claudio? Here, he's still the cheery wahey man, adhering to the code of honor. Even for this era of Castagnoli, this is one of the waheyiest bouts I have ever seen. Nobody is accusing him of being CZW junkie scum though, it's so weird!
Chad Collyer was once known as Chad Malenko after being trained by Dean himself, so you can see what he was going for as a wrestler. An acceptable but intensely plain "warm body" type wrestler for ROH, but it's not exactly thrilling when he's in control and it feels like this rowdy crowd are getting a bit impatient with it.
Collyer wants to go for a chair, but Ace Steel of all people prevents this from happening, in what many people are calling "a feud". Claudio win. It was alright.
After brawling with Chad for a bit, Ace gets on the mic and cuts an actually somewhat Franky The Mobster-esque promo in cadence, if Franky was capable of getting to the point in a timely manner. He calls Collyer a Malenko clone, says something about him missing a ball, and he must have seen They Live recently because he does the bubblegum line, spitting his gum across the venue in the process.
LOL.
My first time seeing this guy wrestle. I could have happily breathed my final breath having never done so, but here we are.
Ace Steel is not done saying things that get "OHHHH" reactions from the crowd. He says "so I go from a Malenko clone to a CM Punk clone". OHHHHH!! Keenan is like "very funny... ". They still adhere to the code of honor.
Wrestling ensues. It seems as though Gabe has used this as a match to do an "and look who's got a ticket at ringside!!" angle. Prazak mentions that he's trying not to get distracted, but there's two idiots in the crowd causing a disruption. "Jimmy Bower", or whatever the fuck he's called this week, chimes in for the first time in the show and he's super mad about it. Eventually, Prazak reveals that one of these idiots is Chris Hero, and later informs us that the other one is Necro Butcher. Lenny Leonard, perhaps while giving himself a pedicure, calls Hero a clown. So, I had heard chants of "boring" during the prior match and assumed that it was just the sincere thoughts of the crowd, but I think it is Hero and Necro because it's now being countered with shouts of "kick his ass". Honestly, fucked up of Hero to heckle a Claudio match if that's what he did.
So uhh, yeah, I am watching a Corey Graves match. It's incredibly nondescript. I'm sure that's partially down to the fact the viewer is supposed to be distracted by these obnoxious outsiders at this point. But I'm also sure it's down to the fact nothing good is happening. The most noteworthy stuff Keenan has done is drawing back for a big kick but faking out the fans by slapping on a chin-lock - saw Steen do that last month, mate. He also likes pointing to his head after doing things he perceives as smart.
The wrestlers are now incredibly distracted by the CZW invaders. Ace wrenches a submission on Keenan, the crowd plead for him to tap but he just lets go of the hold so that he can point and yell at Chris Hero. The match grinds to a halt entirely. Ace goads Hero & Necro into coming in while Keenan just stands around doing nothing. Not Gabe says that if they come over the barricade, their main security guard will knock their asses out. They come over the barricade. That doesn't happen. The locker room starts to flood out, though, and wrestlers, refs and random ringside guys all pile on to prevent the CZW guys getting in the ring.
The sea of bodies goes backstage. The camera follows them. We see shadowy figures yelling at one another in the dark. Someone is removed from the building. Low Ki saunters out with a chair in his hand - finally, he can get revenge for the finish being changed in that Ric Blade match. Somebody's smacked Dim Courgette and his mouth is all bloodied. Jim gets in Gabe's face and says he was promised there'd be no hardcore bullshit. Gabe defends himself, saying they weren't booked. Gabe looks like this:
That's one Neurosis listening MF right there.
Now Cornette marches to the ring. We follow him and see that the SJK match has been entirely dismissed. Great call. Jim yells at the top of his lungs about hardcore wrestlers, as you'd expect. His skin is maroon and he gets sweatier by the millisecond. He does sound as though he legitimately lost a tooth. Cool if so. It's the same tired tropes that he really believes and has always said about the genre - AIDS infected this, crack house that - but it is marvellous at stoking the ROH tribalism in these fans. It really is amazing how distinct the identities in the respective fandoms were in this feud. Two promotions that used to be in the same fucking city during ROH's formative year and always used similar talents to one another engaged in the perfect ideological warfare. It can never be replicated in any way. That's just not how indie wrestling fandom works anymore. The last time I sensed any kind of tribal element in the indies was when GCW was on the rise and rapidly usurping DJ Hyde's CZW. I believe they were due to work some kind of angle which fell apart, but the ideological element about how pro-wrestling should be presented would just not be a factor in that. I can't picture anything of the sort happening again.
Yeah, another electric warfare angle done in the midst of a match that was specifically designed to make you feel like you hadn't missed out on anything by getting distracted from it. Because of this, it can avoid the "suk my nob" list. Gabe good?? Also what a great argument for watching full shows as much as possible - if I had gone "that sounds shit" and skipped it to get to the fournas, what an angle I would've missed.
Here's a part I found from Chris Hero's livejournal about the angle. I still find it so funny how they have to walk the tightrope and not commit either way when Castagnoli is involved. This also somewhat confirms my hunch that the heckling during the Collyer match was a genuine sentiment amongst some of the fans.
Prazak interviews Generation Next. Aries urges Sydal to think about the team, after Sydal invited AJ Styles to team with him and challenge for the belts held by Sydal's stablemates; Aries & Roddy. Oh yeah, I didn't think of that at the time. What was he thinking?
Then we cut to clips of a Styles vs. Danielson match from 2003. Gabe is extremely monotone here, explaining that we are looking at highlights of a Styles vs. Danielson match from 2003. They had two of them that year. Styles won them both. They will have another one tomorrow night. You should watch it.
Delirious runs around like the mad loon that he is at the ringing of the bell. Nigel quickly establishes control once this is done, and his half-hearted impression of Delirious is great. Delirious doesn't know what the hell to do about Nigel's top rope headstand spot, running around aimlessly before being caught with the double boots.
Most of the pre-Danielson feud Nigel I've seen comes from around 2004, where he's just pretty good, but he's so comfortable in there now and rapidly becoming one of the best acts in the promotion. Fans chant "you're a wanker" at him, basically the inverse "bruv" as a sure-fire sign that he's been wholly embraced by these fans.
I'm pretty sure the last time I saw Delirious was while watching IWA Mid-South We're No Joke from the same year for OGP. During his match with El Generico, both Connor & I were perplexed at his ratio of comedy hijinks and earnest workrate - essentially a match split down the middle into "the funny half" and "the workrate half". Here, I feel the balance of this is done a lot better. It doesn't whiplash the viewer, it just flows so much better. It's also not an inappropriate length (bless Ian Rotten's mind, though). He's just a wacky guy with good form, and McGuinness compliments the mood of the match well. Nigel finishes him with the Tower Of London in a fun one.
It's great to hear that opening bit of the Liu Kang theme play once again. We are shown the bit from after the main event of The Era Of Honor Begins where the despicable Christopher Daniels snubs the handshake offerings of Low Ki and the American Dragon - presumably, we've moved on from this by 2006, but Gabe Sapolsky just cannot help himself. Low Ki has the fine layer of hair he sported at this point in the year - never not a jarring sight. It's a pretty beast look along with the dark green trousers, although I am slightly distracted by one of his trouser legs being rolled up further than the other one. Flub or deliberate stylistic choice? I may never know.
Christopher Daniels has still never adhered to the code of honor to this day, but every fan treats him like a proper ledge anyway. Gabe bad?? This was supposed to be Joe here in Low Ki's spot, but he has reportedly suffered a severe staph infection. Regardless, the crowd is pumped - duel chants galore with Daniels probably just about getting the louder reception.
The snap in Low Ki's offense is just unrivalled. Like AJ, he is one of relatively few who could do wrestling manoeuvres you've seen countless times before, but still dazzle you because of the way HE does them. The foremost example of this may be the double stomp he does with the blood-curdling shriek attached.
They have now mentioned multiple times that Daniels has never shaken hands with anybody in ROH before - calling it midway through the match: he's gonna shake hands here!
Just a pretty great and straight-forward match here. Low Ki wins after reversing the Angel's Wings into a pin. Quite a sudden finish, but a good one. No need for a huge crescendo in a match where one guy's an injury replacement, I'd say. I don't have many notes for this one other than just about how sick Low Ki always is. Daniels can often irk me, especially in ROH, but he didn't at all here.
Christopher Daniels cuts a respect promo. Here we go... HONOR TIME!! He says that he's a different man to the one he was in 2002 and offers out his hand. But Low Ki hasn't forgotten being snubbed that day! He leaves Daniels hanging. PUNKED!!
It really cannot be overstated how weird it is to see Abyss entering to a random Lil' Kim instrumental.
After The Embassy engage in a toilet paper hurling war with the crowd, the Jimmys; Yang & Rave start us off - there's the irresistible chant of "let's go Jimmy", but because Britwresian influence has not truly taken over yet, this ceases after about seven seconds and morphs into "Rave's a pussy", which is obviously more ideal. And it turns out Rave is a pussy because he runs over for a rope break in lieu of engaging with the opening lock-up. Rave eventually locks up, but Yang stings him with a big slap; cue chants of "you got bitchslapped" and Jack Evans running from the opposite corner to laugh in his face. Rave is really good at reacting to these slaps, running around and making sure everybody can get a good look at his indignant cry-baby face.
Shelley apparently did that one Stephanie Vaquer gooner spot back at this time, however he is not a lady therefore I am not cranking it - this view is not shared by Gabe, though, who provides the role of Booker T here with the rhythmic "OH"s.
I would really like to see a Jimmy Yang vs. Abyss singles match - the comebacks and cut-offs displayed between them here felt like a sneak preview of a classic. Ditto for Jack Evans vs. Abyss, actually. I just wanna see lots of Abyss matches. Incredible counter from Abyss to thwart an Evans handspring back-elbow attempt, just sticking a foot out and booting Evans right in the middle of the back, and Jack bumps as marvellously as you'd expect.
Abyss sends all the faces out of the ring and y'know what? He fancies a fuckin' DIVE!! He hits the ropes but Shelley blind tags in, big boos. Then Shelley slaps Abyss and Abyss is about to fuckin kill him - the people really want to see it but they're interrupted this time. Soon after, Abyss beautifully catches a Sydal springboard into a black hole slam. Then everyone is running in, getting something in, but eventually Evans is isolated, hit with a succession of stuff, and pinned by Rave after everybody's favourite finishing move; the pedigree.
Really joyous match. As you'd expect, it's more drawn out than that party style, wild Evans spots fuelled opener but this is just as good if not a little better. I wish we got more Abyss in ROH, because he is just magnificent as the brick wall in there with all these other similarly statured athletic dudes who can bounce off him and fly metres away. And Rave, man - I always knew he was great but he may be the one rising up my favourites ranking the quickest from this project - a beautiful heel. What a tragedy it is that he's not an ultra-respected AEW veteran like many of his peers.
The ROH fans slappy the barricade. I am fond of that trope, but their rhythm keeping during 'Final Countdown' is atrocious here. I like Jay Lethal but ehh; not here, not yet for me. He just looks out of place walking out there next to Danielson. I always forget how early he was pushed in ROH - in my mind he's a good TV champion in Delirious era, and a Special K member in Gabe era, but nah this is a big spotlight for him here in 2006.
We are first shown clips of one move each from two prior Danielson/Strong matches. Thank you, Gabe. Danielson starts off by chopping Roddy once and then bolting out of the ring immediately. Understandably so; we are made to wait a while for the first Roddy chop but it just fuckin kills Lethal here. His chops get gasps of awe in a way comparable to prime Fat Cunt WALTER, but for a knife edge? I can't think of one that compares.
It sounds like the crowd haven't completely taken to Lethal yet either, and not just because he's a heel. I think I heard chants of "still a jobber" in there. Whatever, like, but I am less okay with chants of "what's up Willis, what's up?" - that's not even the catchphrase, for one?
Danielson & Lethal isolate Roddy, bodyslamming him and going straight for the quick tag (while making sure they have a hold of the tag rope, of course!) about ten times, before Roddy is able to cut it off and go chop crazy again.
This is all good stuff; Danielson taking full advantage of the fact that he has until five. Danielson getting caught in an airplane spin from both of his opponents, Lethal trying to interrupt but getting doofed with Danielson's spinning boot. Aries has had more interesting performances before, but still comes out with the trademark tope where he just recklessly torpedoes himself into the barricade. Roddy and Danielson go pretty fucking HAM in the final stretches before Danielson taps to the strong hold. I would've bet a fair bit that Lethal was gonna be the one to take the L here, but alright. Another title match between Danielson and Strong will presumably occur! Very good main event.
Dissension (holy fuck the next show's called that!) between Lacey's Angels? Can't say I care!
Will Sydal take his Generation Next stablemates' request to forfeit teaming with AJ Styles to go after Aries' and Strong's titles? I dunno! Could be DISSENSION!
ROH knocks it out of the park again, I gotta say. The one would-be dud is a match deliberately engineered for you to get distracted by the CZW invaders, and that was a great angle so it cancels itself out. Chad Collyer, not so interesting, but it's slim pickings for critiques since everything else was a real hit. 8.5 out of 10.
Pre-show promo stuff: Dave Prazak asks Matt Sydal if he's got an answer as to whether he will placate his Generation Next colleagues' request and decide not to challenge them alongside AJ Styles for the tag titles. Matt Sydal uses a lot of words to say that no, he hasn't got an answer yet. There is also DISSENSION! LIKE THE SHOW TITLE! between Rave and Shelley of The Embassy, but Nana is pulling it together.
Quick semi-competitive squashy for Pearce. Fury has a nice dive, but Pearce puts him away in a short period of time. Not much to say about it. Entirely inoffensive, but doesn't really cut it as an opener since I'm accustomed to ROH openers going pretty balls out. This felt more like a breather that you'd slot in one or two matches before the main event.
Pearce takes a seat and calls out Commissioner Cornette. Cornette comes out smiling and slapping hands with all the marks, which is just a weird sight to see. "Yrrmnfhg hrrrnn prhhbmmm" - that's what his promo sounds like cos of the audio quality. Sometimes I can decipher that stuff, other times it's hopeless. I can pick up some stuff he's saying about his missing tooth, and that unmistakable pronounciation of the letter S to back it up, but he's such a motor-mouth that it really doesn't mesh well with 2000s indie audio quality. At some point, fans sound distracted from what Jim is saying and sure enough; the Necro Butcher has invaded once again. Jim instantly transforms into rage mode, and rolls out a few zingers on Necro. Adam Pearce is just sitting there. Jim and Adam both challenge Necro to come into the ring, Adam grows impatient and drags him over the barricade. Big brawl, Cornette gets shots in and the locker room empties to turf Necro out. Jim and Adam are buds now. Cool angle, I guess, although I don't know why Necro would be alone on this occasion.
Now the top 5 rankings flash by faster than a bullet. It's 5) Chris Daniels 4) Jimmy Rave 3) Alex Shelley 2) KENTA 1) Jay Lethal. If you say so.
More opener coded than the actual opener. Lethal's heeling is very keen on the trope of making the fans anticipate something and then doing something else. After Lethal sends Yang over the barricade and into some fans' laps (which causes Yang to corpse when he gets his head patted), there are chants of "OVER HERE!" and Lethal looks to grant this request but just casually rolls Yang into the ring instead. Later, Lethal shushes the crowd in anticipation for a big chop but does a gut kick instead. I can be indifferent on these spots but Lethal feels like he's developing as he should be at this time.
It's a nice match. I was just thinking what an ideal guy Yang was, a recognisable face who can take some pins no problem at all. But then all of a sudden, I'm caught off guard as Yang hits a corkscrew leg lariat and pins the guy they just told me was top of the top 5 rankings list. First ROH win for Yang and well received.
Before the next match, we see Sydal and Styles chatting in an otherwise unoccupied hallway, but the silly cameraman forgot to turn the mic on! Then it's Low Ki outside in a beanie. He's gonna punish Jack Evans and make sure that 2006 is the year of the dog.
The Embassy are of course a joy; Rave feels in his absolute prime right now. Delirious is in there for ages as the FIP, a bit of a weird choice for that role but he's fun opposite Abyss and it's cool when Mamaluke gets going. The crowd is salivating for an Abyss face turn - his Abyss Smash moments are so well received, and the place comes unglued when he catches Delirious in mid-air for a picture-perfect Black Hole Slam.
Just when this looked like a certain W for Nana's lads, you have to be reminded that the title of this show is called DISSENSION. Abyss threatens to do a big dive again, but Shelley blind tags himself in. Rave takes issue with this, and they get into a shoving match. The Italians roll both up and the referee counts both pins for some reason. "It almost looks like dissension among the members of The Embassy here!". I guess they likely came up with most of their show titles during the editing process, but regardless it feels laid on a bit thick here. It makes absolutely perfect sense that Abyss is being Batista'd out of this group, since he does stick out like a sore thumb in there and gets the mega-pops. Not sure I see the logic in splitting up Shelley and Rave at this time, though. They're magic together and the crowd doesn't seem like they want to cheer either of them. The Embassy stand in the ring bickering for a bit while the crowd crowbar in a chant of "Fuck em up Aby-yyyss, fuck em up". But he doesn't. Nothing happens.
A "down my alley" match-up to look at on paper if there ever was one. Jack starts his own "Jack's gonna kill you" chant and says "I ain't scared. I ain't scurred". He said it in a more street way the second time. It shouldn't be endearing but it really is. Jack does his sick dancing and the crowd chant "you got served", like that movie. A movie meme that pre-dates even antiques such as "get these motherfuckin' snakes off this motherfuckin' plane" and "I'm the juggernaut, Bitch!". Jack enjoyed that so he decides to do it again. I know exactly what's coming but it's still absolutely magnificent when Low Ki just boots Evans right in the fucking stomach while he's upside-down.
It might not surprise you to hear that Low Ki is the one dishing out most of the punishment here. Evans keeps fighting in little flurries, but Ki's cut-offs are always suitably brutal. I fucking love the attention to detail Ki applies to his tree-of-woe double stomp, rather than just expecting his opponent to hoist themselves up for no reason other than to take the move, Ki just grinds his boot into the knee of Evans to force him up before delivering the killer blow.
Ki ate Evans up, essentially. And he'll never wrestle in Ring Of Honor again, haha. We didn't know that at the time, so there's no big ceremonial goodbye, but it's still a pretty perfect send-off to the man who was far-and-away the most important part of ROH's inaugural year. You shouldn't need me to tell you that Evans is the perfect bumper if you are this far into my blog post, and this was all about Low Ki's brilliant cut-off game against the ideal opponent.
Nigel is on the mic like "I think this should be pure wrestling match with no punchys or kickys, just wristlocks and headlocks :-) " but he is stopped in his tracks by bloodthirsty hardcore wrestling enthusiast Jim Cornette who makes this anything goes.
This is a weird one, because it's starts off as you would like a brawl to start - everybody scatters off into the crowd - Claudio and Nigel have found some sign that says "section D" that goes up and down and use it like a sort of guillotine, which is pretty wild. Then they go into the ring and it's a pretty normal match? Maybe there's like 5% less holding the tag rope than you'd normally get, but it's just a wrestling match at this point really. Don't know why they built this one up to be something it just wasn't. It's fine, though. You're still in safe hands with Nigel & Claudio.
PRE-MATCH DISSENSION MOMENT: a two second silent clip of Aries gesturing in a frustrated manner towards Sydal. :O!!!
The Lacey's Angels act is bad. During their entrance, Jimmy can't lift Lacey on the apron, so Blowjob does it, which makes Jimmy defensive because he wants to be the only one who touches her. But this guy who couldn't lift the lady is supposed to be believable in an extended title match with Roddy & Aries. Either be a goof or be a credible threat, the balance is way off here. Lacey gets some "classic" ECW female-oriented chanting. Bad! The match itself is quite dull for a while. It picks up a bit after an Aries hot tag, but getting there isn't very fun. You'd also think that Aries FIP / Roddy hot tag would be the way to go, but hey. Jimmy Jacobs BOTCHES a lariat from Blowjob's shoulders - kiss goodbye to my good will and quarter-star! Roddy deservedly murks this fool with a backbreaker and then Aries hits the 450 to win. I've liked Blowjob in prior stuff in this project, but he's pretty nondescript here. And I'm finally, after all these years, starting to deliver a concrete verdict on how I feel about Jimmy Jacobs - it's not looking good at all. Now it's time for DISSENSION! Jimmy is arguing with Lacey, then Blowjob just slaps the fuck out of Jimmy and brainbusters him. Lacey is displeased. I am disinterested.
I've always been pretty fond of Sydal, but this month of stuff could be the best I've ever seen him look before. Super good bumper, great underdog, and picture perfect in the high spots in a way that merits comparison to AJ Styles. When I see him here, I feel like he probably should have done a bit more in his career even though he's objectively had a pretty good one. Daniels is a bit less inspiring; there's a knee injury that I guess is legitimate because it doesn't feel like pro-wrestling selling. He can still move around alright, but they even show a replay of his leg smacking the mat from an armdrag which suggests Mystic Gabe knows more than you, since it doesn't feel like the story of the match in any significant way. In these circumstances, Daniels does fine just giving Sydal reasons to bump like a maniac. Strong finish that doesn't take too long to crescendo, a couple of believable nearfalls for Sydal before being wrenched into Daniels' koji clutch for the finish. Nice match!
Before the main event, a quick vignette for the imminently returning Briscoes! Fuck yeah! But that's not all, because this vignette uses... 2002 ROH STYLE TECHNO BEATS!! FUCK YEAH!!!
Oh man, the early grappling is so snug here. It doesn't feel like an afterthought or a means to an end like so much opening matwork does. Bryan extends his hand for some code of honor goodness, but Styles gobs into it. Bryan does his classic thing where he's semi-corpsing, looking around at the crowd and then back to the spit in his hand. He opts not to lose his head at this moment and instead works AJ into the corner and spits directly in his face. AJ immediately goes fucking mental, throwing wild kicks but Bryan escapes to the outside for a moment and taps his head. Really perfect stuff.
A match like this just feels like my happy place, so my beat-for-beat notes are going to be a bit sparse. I'm watching two guys who are great at pretty much everything I want a pro-wrestler to be great at - grappling, striking, impactful shit, creativity. There's a sign of that CZW away end dynamic. One or two fans shout out "boring". It's not, and they are quickly shut down by the vast majority, but I would have to imagine there's a strong possibility that these are Dubheads. Styles gets a bloodied nose about fifteen minutes in, and all Bryan's offense from then on seems to be just crunching into his face in any way he can. The finish is really exhilarating - Bryan locks in the cattle mutilation, but AJ's aforementioned creativity (maybe the best ever at it) comes into play with an awesome reversal that's not worth describing cos you should just go and watch it. Bryan quickly wrenches in a crossface chickenwing and AJ has to submit. Great main event.
Some Whitmer & Lacey crap I don't care about! DISSENSION!
Sydal is gonna challenge for the the tag titles after all because of course he is! DISSENSION!
There's also adverts for a FIP show and "straight shootin' series" shoot interviews with every wrestling figure of the 1990s, apparently.
Some weaker moments by the company's standards, and it definitely would've felt lacklustre without a main event of that standard. But thankfully we got that main event, and some other stuff I can remember fondly. Can't complain really. 7.5 out of ten.
10. Niles Young (CZW)
This guy is one of the more maligned CZW Champions in history, but right here he's just doing ideal lowbrow 2000s indie junior-heavyweight shit. Especially his ladder match at COD was a fucking blast.
9. Chris Hero (CZW)
I haven't always been a fan of "the king" (IYKYK), but his stuff here is a factor in him starting to win me over. I think, from a CZW perspective, he's been great as the guy who's the annoying cravat merchant in Normal Service CZW, but rises up to be the hero when it's time to defend the pride of the promotion.
8. Samoa Joe (ROH)
He's fucking Samoa Joe. Any month he has matches, he's probably getting in the list. Loved that Whitmer match. Made the Blowjob man look really good without tainting his own aura one iota, and that can't be easy to do.
7. Low Ki (ROH)
My favourite wrestler of all time. Sad that his journey ends here - imagine him being in the Cage Of Death match or even making a grand return to CZW after "the incident"? He'll go down as one of the few things that feel like a missed opportunity in this feud.
6. Jack Evans (ROH)
It's just impossible for me to not have a blast when he's on the screen. If he's not in a featured singles match, then he should open every single show of this run in ROH.
5. Matt Sydal (ROH)
I mentioned earlier that this is the best I've seen Sydal look. He's being given some spotlight away from Generation Next and he's absolutely acing it. Not many go into a match with mid-2000s AJ Styles and come out looking their equal.
4. AJ Styles (ROH)
Obviously, another guy where if he's having matches, he's making this list. That Sydal match is probably my favourite ROH match of the project so far, and the Danielson one wasn't far behind.
3. Bryan Danielson (ROH)
The fucking instigator! Him turning up to CZW and the chaos that ensued is one of the most electric angles I can remember seeing. Similar dynamic to Hero, where he's such a cocky little shit at the moment but he represents his company so well while being so effortlessly dismissive of the rival company. I know he was dividing the indie internet at this time and was probably on the dartboard of a fair few Dubheads.
2. Jimmy Rave (ROH)
I've always respected Rave, but he was never one of the first names I'd drop when talking about 2000s ROH, but this project is changing that. Definitely the most someone's risen up my favourites list. Just a perfect heel.
1. Necro Butcher (CZW)
It had to be. He's right in the thick of the rivalry, and that's so perfect. He's the ideal visual representation of what CZW is and what ROH isn't, and obviously so suited to the kinds of hectic, out of control brawls all these invasion angles are producing. This is a good enough reason to have him at #1, but the absolute clincher is that performance at Cage Of Death that is just the stuff of legend. He gets a fucking ladder hurled at the back of his head with no warning. He gets dumped out of the ring because Justice Pain thought he was sandbagging him. He KILLS Justice Pain for this, while ignoring Gage who threw the ladder in the first place. And he sells Jake Roberts' finish. What a guy.
CZW average score so far: 7.75 (combined total score for future convenience; 15.5 from 2 shows)
ROH average score so far: 8.33 (combined total; 25 from 3 shows)
ROH is more consistent than CZW - I'm not exactly surprised, and I'd expect it to stay this way. "Consistently great technical wrestling" is not why CZW is marginally closer to my heart. Now if this was 2002, I could at least attempt an argument that CZW has stronger shows as a whole than ROH, but it's 2006 so I can't really. The best and worst match so far both came from the same CZW show; the Cage Of Death was just a gobsmacking and unforgettable spectacle that really only this promotion can pull off. On the flip side, Joey Ryan vs. Generico is legit one of the worst matches I have ever seen and there are plenty of other unworthy scrubs getting ring time there too. ROH is generally really cool all the way through - it's pretty much just the Lacey's Angels shit I definitely don't like.